Saturday, September 8, 2012

Amanda and Kelly Review: Nina Versus the Mummy by Catherine DeVore



Nina Versus the Mummy: An Erotic Adventure by Catherine DeVore
When Nina steals an ancient map that points to the Pharaoh's treasure trove, she expects to steal some gold and make a quick buck. Instead, she finds herself face-to-face with a mummy who plans to extract his revenge by making her his plaything for the night.

Warning: This 3500-word story includes a steamy blowjob, rough sex, and an explicit encounter with an ancient Egyptian pharaoh that you won't soon forget!
Our Thoughts:
Amanda: So when I was promised hot sex with a mummy, my first thought was, "How does one have sex with a mummy?" I mean, a mummy is basically a dead body all wrapped up, so... is that some sort of necrophilia I'm not aware of?

Kelly: You want to know what my first thought was? "Duuuuude... sex with a mummy? BRING IT ON!" I guess technically it would be necrophilia, wouldn't it? Now I feel all dirty for thinking that.

Amanda: Except the first sexual encounter isn't with a mummy. It was with Paul, and his big cock.

Kelly: Yeeeaaaaah. Disappointment #1. The blowjob was only mildly steamy and clearly Paul wasn't a mummy. Does it mean I've read too many dirty books when the sex is described as "rough" and I'm all... "Meh. I've read rougher."?

Amanda: That was a quickie blowjob. And, um... that sex wasn't rough at all. Unless "rough" means "not missionary position." Then I could maybe see calling it rough. Maybe.

Kelly: No. Just no. I can't accept that. Rough sex is not defined as non-missionary. Truth in advertising, people! In fact, I'm rewriting the warning. In my head it now says: a quickie blowjob and some mediocre sex.

Amanda: On the topic of mediocre sex, what was up with the sex with the mummy? It was all, "Spend the night and make love with me." And then one orgasm later and they're parting ways. After thousands of years of no sex, wouldn't you want more than one orgasm? Surely you've built up your royal cum over all that time.

Kelly: Let's backtrack for a second. "Make love to me"? I'm thinking that the mummy has many, many, MANY years of pent up sexual tension. Is "making love" really the correct term? On the plus side, at least this time it was slightly more satisfying. Or at least a little rougher. Wasn't it? You're right, though. I'm not thinking that a single boning would take care of business.

Amanda: No, you're right. It was definitely not making love. It was fucking. And after years of no release, why wouldn't you fuck your partner into oblivion? Nina was ready and willing. Though I'm not going to lie, Nina seems to like teh sex anyway. Once the mummy transformed a bit, she was all, "Bring it on, big boy!" This is probably not the kind of reaction I would have had. But then again, neither am I Nina.

Kelly: It still wasn't as rough as it could have been, either. He could have been ALL up in her business and ... he wasn't. Anywho. Can we talk about this cover for a minute? I choose to believe that the cover artist had just watched a hardcore marathon of Tomb Raider and couldn't get Lara Croft out of their head. Amirite?

Amanda: It does have that Tomb Raider feel. Was that what first attracted you to this book or was it the mummy sex?

Kelly: I... can't lie. It was the possibility of mummy sex. Which turned out to be a big dud! Next time, I'm hoping for some tentacled alien sex! PREPARE YOURSELF!



Nina Versus the Mummy was a free ARE download we picked up on 09/05/12.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Review: Juliet Immortal by Stacey Jay

Juliet Immortal (Juliet Immortal #1) by Stacey Jay
Synopsis (Goodreads):
The most tragic love story in history . . .

Juliet Capulet didn't take her own life. She was murdered by the person she trusted most, her new husband, Romeo Montague, a sacrifice made to ensure his own immortality. But what Romeo didn't anticipate was that Juliet would be granted eternity, as well, and would become an agent for the Ambassadors of Light. For 700 years, she's fought Romeo for the souls of true lovers, struggling to preserve romantic love and the lives of the innocent. Until the day she meets someone she's forbidden to love, and Romeo, oh Romeo, will do everything in his power to destroy that love.

"These violent delights have violent ends
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,
Which as they kiss consume."
"--Romeo and Juliet" by William Shakespeare
My Thoughts: I *really* enjoyed this book. And I'm not just saying that because Stacey Jay does really cool interpretive dance at signings or anything. It was a good book. There was kissing and betrayal and danger and true love and more kissing and a bad guy that's just unhinged enough to be creeeeeepy beyond belief.

I liked this story. I liked how Juliet was thrown into a highly charged situation without any guidance and she had to fumble along as best she could. I sort of thought that the best friend of the body she was using was a manipulative little tool but I guess we can't pick our friends. No, wait. We can pick our friends. Ariel (the body) needs to drop Gemma (the horrible friend) like a hot potato.

With no real guidance in this situation, Juliet has to sort through the stories that Romeo is telling her. Everything could be a lie but there could be a grain of truth hidden in it. Throw in a boy that Juliet finds herself falling for more and more, a mom who isn't the most understanding, and a weird reception at her high school (I'm kinda dying to find out what happened in the past to make people afraid of Ariel, btw) and Juliet's doing everything she can to keep her head above water.

All in all, this was an interesting look at Romeo and Juliet's story. It's dark and bloody and you're never quite sure who to trust. Romeo's story should be very, very interesting.

Books in this series
1. Juliet Immortal - Hardcover | Paperback | Kindle
2. Romeo Redeemed

Author Links
| Website | Twitter | Facebook | Amazon |

Review: Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare

Clockwork Prince (The Infernal Devices #2) by Cassandra Clare
Synopsis (Goodreads):
In the magical underworld of Victorian London, Tessa Gray has at last found safety with the Shadowhunters. But that safety proves fleeting when rogue forces in the Clave plot to see her protector, Charlotte, replaced as head of the Institute. If Charlotte loses her position, Tessa will be out on the street and easy prey for the mysterious Magister, who wants to use Tessa's powers for his own dark ends.

With the help of the handsome, self-destructive Will and the fiercely devoted Jem, Tessa discovers that the Magister's war on the Shadowhunters is deeply personal. He blames them for a long-ago tragedy that shattered his life. To unravel the secrets of the past, the trio journeys from mist-shrouded Yorkshire to a manor house that holds untold horrors, from the slums of London to an enchanted ballroom where Tessa discovers that the truth of her parentage is more sinister than she had imagined. When they encounter a clockwork demon bearing a warning for Will, they realize that the Magister himself knows their every move and that one of their own has betrayed them.

Tessa finds her heart drawn more and more to Jem, though her longing for Will, despite his dark moods, continues to unsettle her. But something is changing in Will; the wall he has built around himself is crumbling. Could finding the Magister free Will from his secrets and give Tessa the answers about who she is and what she was born to do?

As their dangerous search for the Magister and the truth leads the friends into peril, Tessa learns that when love and lies are mixed, they can corrupt even the purest heart.

My Thoughts: I went into this book with the full expectation that it was going to rip my heart out and leave me bleeding. I feared, people. I feared. This is, if I'm completely honest, the sole reason I put off reading it for so long. I expected so much angst and drama that when I finished the book my first thought was "Well, at least Cassandra Clare didn't drown London under a sea of molten lava, killing everyone." I was pleased with this lack of extreme death and dismemberment. Then a few hours passed and I came to realize that what I had read WAS JUST AS BAD! I couldn't stop thinking about it. I just can't... *weeps a little* ... WHY DO YOU TORTURE US SO, CASSANDRA CLARE?!?!?!

Here's the thing - I want to like Jem as much as I like Will but... I don't. It's not that there's anything wrong with Jem. In fact, I think he's an outstanding balance to Will's emotional mood swings and his ingrained fight or flight response. As Tessa says, he's steady. Despite his addiction and the toll it takes on his body, he's the one that is always there when Tessa or Will need him. He's Will's rock. But he's not Will. Will is the one that I want to see triumph over his inner demons. Knowing that Jem is as ill as he is makes it hard for me to see him having any future with Tessa.

This book ended up being rather bittersweet. Certain truths come to light that have a profound impact on everyone at the London Institute. Will battles his inner demons with surprising results. I'm not implying anything but Will might have been involved in some actual demon battling too. Oh, and the ending? It kind of killed me.

On one hand, at least I only have a couple of months until the final book comes out and I can see how far this wild ride takes me. On the other hand... *weeps*

Books in this series
1. Clockwork Angel
2. Clockwork Prince - Hardcover | Paperback | Kindle
3. Clockwork Princess

Author Links
| Website | Twitter | Facebook | Amazon |


Thursday, September 6, 2012

Review: Stud by Cheryl Brooks

Stud (Cat Star Chronicles #8) by Cheryl Brooks
Synopsis (Goodreads):
THEY'RE GALAXIES APART...

Even for a Zetithian, Tarq Zulveidinoe's sexual prowess is legendary. Believing it's all he's good for, Tarq sets out to perpetuate his threatened species by offering his services to women across the galaxy...

BUT ONE FORCE CAN BRING THEM TOGETHER...

Lucinda Force is the sensitive dark horse in a self-absorbed family, repeatedly told that no man will ever want such a plain woman. Lucy longs for romance, but is resigned to her loveless lot in life-until Tarq walks through the door of her father's restaurant on Talus Five...
My Thoughts: I've read everything except book 7 in this series and I have to say that I find it ridiculously fun. These are the books you pick up when you're having a so-so day and they end up making you smile. What's not to like here? You get a race of feline aliens who are so good at wooing the ladies that their entire planet was destroyed in a fit of jealousy. Did you read that last sentence? They're so good at boning that the ladies are never left unsatisfied. WIN!

Tarq's belief that he's less than everyone around him and is only good at making babies - and sexin' up the ladies to make the babies - because he can't read, was sad. He's learned to work around this disability - color coding his belongings, flirting with women so they'd help him - but it's shaped his life in so many ways. He truly believes that the only thing he's good for is stud duty. Even when he's in the wilderness surviving off the land and making bows out of tree branches to protect his group, he's humble. It made him so terribly sweet.

Lucy suffers from the same self-esteem issues as Tarq for entirely different reasons. She looks at him and can't imagine what he could ever see in plain-Jane Lucy. She's entirely resigned to loving him and then giving him up because she can't imagine anyone as beautiful and worldly as he is would want to settle down with someone like her. Between the two of them, their issues and lack of self-esteem cause more problems than anything.

While the resolution of Tarq and Lucy admitting their feelings for one another sort of popped up without much warning, I loved seeing Tarq blossom in his role as a leader in the wilds. While he was never truly comfortable with everyone relying on him, he did it very well. Lucy, also, came into her own once she escaped the stifling confines of her family. All in all, I'd have to say that this was a fun romp with one very sexy alien who likes to give his ladies pleasure like no other. I approve.

Books in this series
1. Slave
2. Warrior
3. Rogue
4. Outcast
5. Fugitive
6. Hero
7. Virgin
8. Stud - Paperback | Kindle
9. Wildcat

Author Links
| Website | Twitter | Facebook | Amazon |

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Serial Killers' Featured Review: Timeless by Gail Carriger


Want to know more about the idea behind Serial Killers? This post is the place to start.

This month's book is Timeless the 5th book in the Parasol Protectorate series by Gail Carriger. I'm the established reader and Odd is new to the series...

Synopsis (Goodreads)
Alexia Tarabotti, Lady Maccon, has settled into domestic bliss. Of course, being Alexia, such bliss involves integrating werewolves into London High society, living in a vampire's second best closet, and coping with a precocious toddler who is prone to turning supernatural willy-nilly. Even Ivy Tunstell's acting troupe's latest play, disastrous to say the least, cannot put a damper on Alexia's enjoyment of her new London lifestyle.

Until, that is, she receives a summons from Alexandria that cannot be ignored. With husband, child, and Tunstells in tow, Alexia boards a steamer to cross the Mediterranean. But Egypt may hold more mysteries than even the indomitable Lady Maccon can handle. What does the vampire Queen of the Alexandria Hive really want from her? Why is the God-Breaker Plague suddenly expanding? And how has Ivy Tunstell suddenly become the most popular actress in all the British Empire?
Odd's Thoughts: So, I'm the new reader here, if only by a technicality. You see, I've read the first book in the series, Soulless, and I struggled a little with it, for two reasons. One, I had never read a Regency before. Hang on, that'll be important in a minute.

But two was that Lord Akeldama got right up my left nostril. I found him so over the top, so hard to conceive of as a character and be in any way believable that I stomped right off into the night. But, sometime later, I ran across a suggestion, I think in Carriger's own blog (which is frequently hilarious and always worth a stop) that Lord Akeldama is, in fact, alive and well in the 21st century and going by the name Austin Scarlett.

And y'all, I love Austin Scarlett. I am Team Austin, even with the John Waters mustache that appeared during All-Stars.


And once we got that cleared up, I was able to enjoy Timeless a whole heck of a lot more than Soulless. In fact I made it as far as page 66 (Asphodel as a tea sandwich) before I stopped reading.

Oh stop with the gasping and the carrying on. I stopped reading because I simply must go back and reread the rest of the series before reading this book.

There are a lot of things in just the first fifty pages of the book that depend on the reader's prior knowledge of the series; I'm sure there's a perfectly good reason Alexia et al are living in Austin Scarlett's third closet, and pretty much five pages in I was dying to know what that reason was. Luckily, there's a way to find that out.

As for Alexia...yeah, she's still full of herself. (I know! So many opinions and yet only fifty pages in. Call your Congressman to complain). However, I am starting to believe that being full of yourself is a hallmark of a Regency heroine.

A dear friend of mine who grew up reading Georgette Heyer novels and horse books nearly exclusively, bemoans the fact that I have not read one single Heyer. Far be it from me to be a disappointment; I started with The Convenient Marriage and The Masqueraders, where indeed Horatia and Letitia were both really full of themselves. As was Robin, but seeing how I really wanted Robin to end up being worn by Sir Anthony like a feedbag, my problems with that book were pretty unreconcilable. And yes, I did just make a conclusion about all Regency heroines on the strength of two Heyers and 1.2 Carrigers. Woo! Livin' on the edge!

I still don't think all spinsters need marrying, though.


My Thoughts: I'm a little sad to see this series put to rest. The only thing that's helping me bear this pain, at the moment, is the knowledge that there are two spinoff series in the works. One of the things I've consistently enjoyed is how complex this world is. I'm so very, very glad that we're going to get more stories set here, even if Alexia, Conall and their menagerie of supernatural friends aren't the main focus.

I've always loved Alexia's very pragmatic outlook on life. Being soulless, she's extremely literal and, as it turns out, motherhood hasn't changed her all that much. Conall is her polar opposite and you wouldn't think the two of them would work together as a couple but they are absolutely adorable. I do love a man who gives his wife's neck a good snuffle upon occasion.

Picking up roughly two years after the last book, Prudence is a precocious toddler and Lord and Lady Maccon have settled nicely into their odd living arrangement in Lord Akeldama's third closet. In inimitable Alexia fashion, they're soon heading off to Egypt - with Ivy and her acting troupe in tow - to meet with a very old vampire. Let's just say that Alexia's parasol gets a workout on this journey, Prudence is an adorable little beast, and Ivy's hats are still questionable.

There were times, especially in the beginning, where the language was a little much. For me, that tapered off once I got back into the swing of this world. Alexia and her friends aren't afraid to use a dozen words to say what Conall could sometimes say with one. In some ways, this ... verboseness adds to the charm of these books. However, falling back into the speech patterns did take a little doing.

Overall, this was a great ending to a series that I've loved. The setup for Prudence's book was masterfully done and with so many of these characters being immortal, I expect we'll see plenty of old favorites again.

Kelly: So. Let's talk steampunk. First off, is this a genre you enjoy dabbling in?

Odd:  It is! I like my steampunk a little darker than the Parasol Protectorate, I think, because they strike me as being these very clever Regency comedies with steampunk tacked on, whereas I'm more a fan of integrated steampunk, where it's driving the story. Like in Meljean Brook's The Iron Duke, or Dru Pagliotti's Clockwork Heart. Plus I'm still working on getting through Bath Tangle, so it's kind of an uphill battle for me with Regency in some ways. I have to ask, though, do you read Regency?

Kelly: I do. That's one of the genres I fall back on when I need a breather from my (nearly) undying love for all things paranormal. But just to clarify, I tend to like the Regency Historical Romances with a lot of steamy sex. Those quivering virgins and virile sons of Dukes are fascinating!

Odd: This is possibly where I am having issues with Regencies, as my comments about Robin, above illustrate.

Although I've just thought of that whatnot, um, Regency with the Kraken. Kilts and Krakens! Or is that Victorian, not Regency? I'm terrible with my historical time periods. But what I want to know is whether the other books in this series have more steampunk in them or whether you'd agree with the assessment that the Parasol Protectorate is Regency with steampunk tacked on.

Kelly: Well, it has the paranormal down pat (hello, werewolves and soulless and vampires!) but this book was light on the gadgets and gizmos. I think the other books in the series use steampunk props a lot more in the overall plot (GIANT METAL OCTOPUS, anyone?) but this one definitely toned it down in order to close out the series arc.

Odd: Hold up: are you asserting that steampunk requires paranormal elements? I think I'm missing something here.

(I am so excited about the GMO. The mention of that right at the beginning was the first time I debated stopping and going back to read the series in order because c'mon. GMO. 
What book wouldn't be improved by the addition of a GMO? Bridges of Madison County would've rocked ass. )
 
Kelly: No, steampunk doesn't *require* paranormal elements but it makes it so much more fun when it has them! C'mon! You must know by now that I'm a sucker for a #NakedWerewolf!

(If Bridges of Madison County had a Giant Metal Octopus in it, I would have been all over that like a drunk girl at a bar!)
 
Odd: Disagree for the block, Alex. I like more straight ahead steampunk where you can really focus on the internal logic of the world. Naked werewolves have their place, but I'm kind of a gadget-head retold history wonk. When in doubt, add a dirigible. That's my feeling. 
But, that said, you know...66 pages of Regency paranormal steampunk (parasolpunk? has that been coined yet) and I'm willing to commit to the whole series. That, for me, is impressive storytelling power.



Unequivocal Epic Win

Books in this series
1. Soulless
2. Changeless
3. Blameless
4. Heartless
5. Timeless - Paperback | Kindle

Author Links
| Website | Twitter | Facebook | Amazon |

Monday, September 3, 2012

Review: Impulse by Moira Rogers

Impulse (Southern Arcana #5) by Moira Rogers
Synopsis (Goodreads):
Sera Sinclaire is a New Orleans rarity: a submissive coyote trapped in a town overrun by dominant shapeshifters. Worse, she lacks the willpower to deny the alphas-in-shining-armor who need her soothing presence, even when their protectiveness threatens to crush her hard-won self-reliance.

The only shifter she doesn't want to push away is Julio Mendoza, a wolf so dominant he's earned a place on the Southeast council.

Julio doesn't have the luxury of indulging in the vacation his psychic shrink insists he needs. He can't turn his back on responsibilities he's beginning to wish he'd never shouldered. When an obsessive ex endangers Sera, though, instinct drives him to get her out of town. Watching her come to life outside the city makes him feel like he's finally done something right, and her touch ignites desire he doesn't want to ignore.

But soon, light-hearted flirting becomes a dangerous game of seduction, where every day spent falling into each other is another day avoiding the truth. Sera's ex isn't the only one who'd disapprove of their relationship. There are wolves who would kill to get Sera out of Julio's life--starting with his own blood kin.

Warning: Contains endless summer road trips, family drama, redneck werewolves, sexual power games and a taboo love affair between a submissive coyote who's among the last of her kind and a dominant wolf who loves his heroine's ass. Literally.
My Thoughts: Oh, guys! OH, GUYS! I love stepping back into this world. It almost embarrassing how excited I get when I think of all the shenanigans these wacky shifters can get into. I adore everything about this series. I love meeting the secondary characters and seeing what previous main characters have been up to and watching our current main characters twist themselves in knots over one another. *sigh* Such fun!

This time around, Julio was the perfect mix of dominant Alpha and sexy lover who wanted to let his ladyfriend stand on her own two feet. Because of the abuse Sera had suffered with her husband, she's so determined to find her independence that she has trouble asking for help. She puts on the brave "I'm fine" face and pushes her need for comfort away. I'm going to be honest, her resignation at being perceived as weak reduced me to tears more than once. And we all know I'm not a crier.

The overall arc has been moving forward nicely with each book and this one ties up several loose ends that were left dangling previously. Julio and Sera were incredibly hot together and I'm still laughing like crazy over that very accurate warning regarding Julio's appreciation of Sera's ass. What's not to love about a hero who loves his heroine's ass?

Not that I'm keeping track or anything but breakfast foods - waffles specifically - have once again made an appearance in the Southern Arcana world!

Books in this series
1. Crux
2. Crossroads
2.1. A Peyton Family Christmas
2.5. Zola's Pride
3. Deadlock
3.5. Two Weddings (and One Near Funeral)
4. Cipher
5. Impulse - Kindle
6. Enigma

Author Links
| Website | Twitter (Donna) | Twitter (Bree) | Facebook | Amazon |

Reading challenges: Ebook Challenge

Impulse was provided by the author in exchange for an honest review.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Year-End Reading Challenge: Unbreaking the Shelves


Amanda and I are at it again! This time around, we're focusing on closing out the year by organizing and reading our way through our massive TBR piles!

This is a two part reading challenge:
Part 1: Actively organize, categorize, and otherwise be brutally realistic about the books you have in your pile.

So, what does this mean? Well, part one is entirely at your discretion. You can make a new shelf on Goodreads. You can choose to delete those freebies that no longer appeal to you. You can be as brutal or as gentle as you want.

The point is to look at your shelves and establish some kind of organizational system so that you have an accurate picture of how many books (that you ARE going to read) are sitting on your TBR pile and a way of dealing with incoming books.

For examples of organization goals or ways to deal with your TBR pile, visit Amanda’s or Kelly’s tracking pages.

Part 2: Actively work on bringing that TBR pile down to something that isn't threatening you with bodily harm if you don't start reading it. What? Those books are tough. They break kneecaps and take names!

Once you’re finished with part one, you should have a good idea of what your TBR pile looks like. The next step is to set realistic targets for yourself. There are four months left in the year. Prioritize the books you have on your TBR list.

Quantify your targets. One thing we learned during our All Series challenge is that we work better when we have an active list to work from. When you can see your little progress bar filling up, you're motivated to keep reading. A good example of a quantifiable target would be: Get TBR pile below [X number].

For examples of targets to set, visit Amanda’s or Kelly’s tracking pages.

Join us!