Amanda and Kelly Review: The Alien King and I by Lizzie Lynn Lee

The Alien King and I by Lizzie Lynn Lee
Synopsis (Goodreads):

Lindsey is expecting a big surprise for her thirtieth birthday. Something along the lines of a male stripper, courtesy of her best friend. But she didn’t expect her hot stripper fun to include a kidnapping…or the fact that the stripper is an alien intent on stripping them both!

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Our Thoughts:
Amanda: I want to talk about the alien king's big cock.

Kelly: We have to lead up to the alien king's big cock. First, we need to talk about other things. Like.... uhh... the lack of tentacles. Or... or... or... fine, let's talk about the alien king's big cock.

Amanda: We could start off by addressing the fact she called him Steve. I found that hilarious for some reason. He rattles off his name, and then she's like, "So I can call you Steve, right?"

Kelly: To be fair, it was a *really* complex name with lots of places tacked on. It did make me laugh, though. Plus, the fact that she kept asking him to dance for her. Ha!

Amanda: Well, hey. When you've been promised a stripper, you expect stripper activities. Like having him rip off his clothes and shake his booty for you.

Kelly: Ha! So true. And nobody expects to open the door to an alien, amirite? A hunky alien who whisks her away to a space ship and makes with the dirty sexin'. Rawr!

Amanda: Well, yes. But she had a total freak out before the dirty sexin' happened. Seriously. She took one long (a sexual emphasis on long here, mind you) look at his very large cock and ran away in fear. Can you imagine if she had a true phobia of large cocks? Wait. Hold on. I have to do a little research here. Hmm. There seems to be phobias of penises in general and of erect penises, but not very large penises. Well, you know what they say, right? Once you go alien, you don't go back. Unless you do. But then you'll regret it.

Kelly:  Ha! I'm dying! I wasn't aware of the "Once you go alien" saying. Clearly I need to get out more and interact with those alien hotties!

Amanda: Technically, once you go alien, they'll also kidnap you and take you to their home world, never to return. In exchange, you get a large cock and some dirty sexin'. I guess it's all about what your priorities are.

Kelly: Well, when you put it that way... WHERE DO I SIGN UP?!?!?

Amanda: You must go to Vegas and hire a stripper. The rest will happen naturally and is between you and the alien king.

Kelly: I think you meant to say: it's between you, the alien king and his giant cock!

Amanda: Oh, you're most definitely right. How could I forget his giant cock?

Kelly: I don't know. Lindsay certainly couldn't. I believe she was pining for him at the end, was she not?

Amanda: She was pining for him and his big cock in a bad way. She really got over her fear quickly. I'm proud of her.

Kelly: *wipes away a little tear* We're all proud of her. Btw, I'm still a little sad that we didn't get any dirty alien tentacle sex. Maybe next time.

The Alien King and I was a free ARE download we picked up on 09/06/12.