The Retired Assassin's Guide to Orchid Hunting by Naomi Kuttner [Review]

The Retired Assassin's Guide to Orchid Hunting (Retired Assassin's Guide #2) by Naomi Kuttner
Format: ebook
Source: borrowed through Kindle Unlimited
Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Date read: December 23, 2025

Retired Assassin's Guide
1. The Retired Assassin's Guide to Country Gardening
2. The Retired Assassin's Guide to Orchid Hunting - Paperback | Kindle
3. The Retired Assassin's Guide to Amateur Theatrics

Naomi Kuttner
| Amazon |

Synopsis (Goodreads):

Assassin. Gardener. Reluctant cat adoptee.

All Dante wants is to be left alone in the small New Zealand town no one’s heard of. No drama. No bodies. No questions.

But then, of course, the orchid convention comes to town, and Dante is knee deep in suspects, intrigue, and red herrings.

On top of all this, Dante must navigate a mysterious woman from his past, cat issues, and the terrifying prospect of a first date.

And he has to do it while fighting his instinct to solve problems the old-fashioned way: permanently.

Thoughts on The Retired Assassin's Guide to Orchid Hunting: Dante and his friends are drawn into another investigation on a suspicious death when one of the prominent orchid expert in town dies during the orchid convention. Of course, the only reason they suspect foul play is because Charlie saw the deceased's spirit right after he died and he was clearly trying to tell Charlie something of importance. Something Charlie, unfortunately, didn't catch in the chaos of the moment.

Now he, Dante, and Eleanor are trying to figure out who could have killed the professor. They're hampered by the fact it looked like an accident, the suspects are only there for the convention (which isn't going to last forever), and Inspector Avery is in town. He SAYS he's on vacation, but his mere presence means they need to stay mostly within the confines of the law. Mostly.

The good news is that Eleanor and Dante are experts at working around the law. They're flexible moral stance on rules and regulations give them plenty of wiggle room in all things investigative. Also, it's possible the Inspector really IS on holiday. So, you know, maybe he'll be more of an asset than an obstacle.

Meanwhile, Dante is venturing out into entirely new territory and he's...kind of terrible at dating. Small talk, too, but that's not a surprise. Eleanor is handing out sage advice while flirting with the Inspector. Charlie is his usual sunshiny, sweet self. Who just so happens to se ghosts.

I'm REALLY enjoying this series. Watching scarily intense Dante trying to blend in is a delight. His worry over his cat, his disaster of a date, and his extreme protectiveness of his new friends is *chef's kiss*

RtP's Week in Review (04/12/26)

Reading the Paranormal's Week in Review

• Only on Gameday by Kristen Callihan [Review] - New KC!!
• The Escape Game by Marissa Meyer and Tamara Ross [Review] - Escape room murrrrder!
• Bend for Balor by Aiden Pierce [Review] - Monster love!
• Submitting to the Alien Barbarian by Petra Palerno [Review] - Alien love!
• Abducted by Moonlight by Petra Palerno [Review] - A werewolf, alien, & human start a romance!
• Crow by Layla Fae [Review] - Monster love!

Bookish Delights

• Books added to the pile
• None?!?
• Currently reading
• Copperhead by Naomi Lucas

Crow by Layla Fae [Review]

Crow (Monster Ever After #5) by Layla Fae
Format: ebook
Source: borrowed through Kindle Unlimited
Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Date read: October 26, 2025

Monster Ever After
1. Jack
2. Grim
3. Satan
4. Orc
5. Crow - Paperback | Kindle
6. Full Sack
7. Mr. Jingle
8. Bunny
9. Thick Beef
10. Jack 2

Layla Fae
| Amazon |

Synopsis (Goodreads):

He will do anything to protect her from monsters – and most importantly, from himself. After all, he is the worst of them all.

Veronica has lived through enough nightmares. She doesn’t need another one. And Crow knows he’s a grotesque beast, a sight unfit for human eyes. He settles for protecting her from afar and keeping his distance.

But he can’t help coveting her luscious body and wishing for things he can never have: her touch, her kisses, her screams of pleasure and sweet words of surrender.
He can barely fight off the urge to lay his eggs inside her.

And the thing that can alleviate his curse? A true love’s kiss, or rather, something much more lustful than a kiss. But Crow would never ask it of Veronica, even though his feathers quiver with how much he wants her.

Thoughts on Crow: Oh man, Crow. The guy (monster) is so down on himself about what he is and how he doesn't want to complicate Veronica's life by showing himself that it hit me in the feels. Dang it.

Anywho. Crow is a shapeshifting birdman (sexy birdman to straight up crow) who watches over Veronica like it's going out of style. He keeps himself hidden, but he knows everything about her. When a witch (the illustrious Baba Jaga, thankyouverymuch) tells him there might be hope for a cure to his curse if he can do a whole true love's kiss sort of thing, Crow can't imagine Veronica consenting to that. After all, he's hideous and monstrous and all those other terrible things.

Then he saves Veronica's life from her not-so-nice ex and Veronica's not looking at him like he's hideous at all. In fact, she might be willing to contemplate a kiss FOR STARTERS. Where is goes from there is anyone's guess. (HINT: It goes pretty far. Pretty far indeed.)

On Veronica's end, Crow isn't horrible or monstrous to her eyes. In fact, he's kind of hot. The fact he saved her when he could have walked (or flown) away says a lot to her. And she's more than willing to get physical with the big guy if it could help him.

A little danger, a little ovipositor play, a monster who is honorable to the core, and a lady who doesn't mind all her new honey's extras. *thumbs up*

Abducted by Moonlight by Petra Palerno [Review]

Abducted by Moonlight (Petra Palerno's Filthy Shorts #2) by Petra Palerno
Format: ebook
Source: borrowed through Kindle Unlimited
Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Date read: December 31, 2025

Petra Palerno's Filthy Shorts
1. Submitting to the Alien Barbarian
2. Abducted by Moonlight - Paperback | Kindle

Petra Palerno
| Website | Amazon |

Synopsis (Goodreads):

A werewolf stalks his newly found human mate in the forest when a UFO abducts them both. What happens when the alien tries to stake a claim on her as well?

Thoughts on Abducted by Moonlight: A werewolf finds his mate and before he can even introduce himself the two of them are abducted by aliens. This sounds completely tragic on a whole lot of levels, but the planet Poppy and Lowell are dumped on has an alien who fits into their duo NICELY. That said, both Lowell and Z think they're the only mate for Poppy and they're maybe a little competitive at first. Which is understandable, really. Since they're all about making sure their mate is happy, it doesn't take long until Poppy has the two of them working together toward that end.

To backup a bit, Poppy isn't thrilled to have two trigger happy males battling over her. She's not disinterested, necessarily, but she's not thrilled to be the prize in a werewolf/alien tug of war. She does, however, enjoy the two of them getting close and personal with one another.

So, yeah. These three fit together. In all ways.

Fast, nicely dirty (literally dirty, actually, because there aren't any options for showering on this planet), and a whole lot of fun. *thumbs up*

Submitting to the Alien Barbarian by Petra Palerno [Review]

Submitting to the Alien Barbarian (Petra Palerno's Filthy Shorts #1) by Petra Palerno
Format: ebook
Source: borrowed through Kindle Unlimited
Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Date read: December 29, 2025

Petra Palerno's Filthy Shorts
1. Submitting to the Alien Barbarian - Paperback | Kindle
2. Abducted by Moonlight

Petra Palerno
| Website | Amazon |

Synopsis (Goodreads):

Signing up for an alien breeding program should be scary, considering the aliens are ruthless barbarians. On the upside, they won’t hesitate to give it to you as rough as you like it.

In this installment, you’ll find: alien romance, size difference, double dongs, submission, bratting, breeding, will it fit, rough play, and pregnancy.

Thoughts on Submitting to the Alien Barbarian: Okay. Straight up, I liked this little nugget. Our FMC (who wasn't given the chance to give her name until the end, so we never actually learn it. This makes writing this review a little problematic since I will be referring to her as FMC, but it otherwise not an issue) signs up for an alien breeding program since she, umm, likes her sex-ay times a little on the rougher side. She's more resigned to the birthing part of the breeding program than excited by it, but the rough, no-holds-barred sex? She's DEFINITELY down for that.

The big purple alien that hones in on her is everything she wanted. What she didn't expect is that his mating knot would mark them as mates and her big rough barbarian isn't about to let her go. This honestly isn't an issue since she likes the guy and everything he does to (and for) her. In fact, when push comes to shove, she's more than willing to break a few rules to make sure they stay together.

Nicely naughty with a little alien submission (or maybe submission to the alien? Why not both?!?!) to keep things fun. *thumbs up*

Bend for Balor by Aiden Pierce [Review]

Bend for Balor (Holiday Horrors #5) by Aiden Pierce
Format: ebook
Source: borrowed through Kindle Unlimited
Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Date read: January 1, 2026

Holiday Horrors
1. Burn for Jack
2. Bleed for Cupid
3. Prey for Rabbit
4. Cry for Krampus
5. Bend for Balor - Paperback | Kindle

Aiden Pierce
| Website | Amazon |

Synopsis (Goodreads):

Balor wants more than vengeance… He wants me—bent, broken, or burning.

After my grandparents’ mysterious and tragic murder, I move back to Ireland to continue their legacy and run the family antique business. But there’s more than dusty collectibles and bittersweet memories waiting for me.

The evil eye is there, watching, the way it has since my childhood.

Legend has it that my family is descended from monster hunters. They protected Ireland from Balor, the terrifying king of the giants, with an eye that could deliver death with a single glare. The eye was supposed to be our good luck charm.

So why does everyone I love keep dying?

Turns out, there’s an ancient monster lurking within the ancient gemstone, plotting to punish me for what my family did to him centuries ago…

When Balor’s vengeance turns to heated obsession, I must bend to his will. Or break.

Thoughts on Bend for Balor: No lie, these holiday themed books are SUPER working for me. They're a little dark (which I'm enjoying) PLUS I get to pull out my knowledge of Irish mythology with Maeve and Balor's story. Admittedly, said knowledge is rusty as heck, but I was able to follow along with delight when Balor was introduced. What can I say, this is my giddy face!

Anywho. Maeve and Balor. She's the last descendant of the bloodline who trapped Balor. Something she isn't aware of and took no part in. He's the king of a now defunct race of giants and he's NOT happy to have spent the last several hundred years trapped. He's kinda sorta plotting what he'll do to Maeve if he ever gets free, but he's also kinda sorta maybe a little obsessed with her also.

When the cultists who killed Maeve's grandparents (they REALLY want to get their hands on Balor's power) accidently break his cage, Balor thinks he's hit the jackpot. And he kind of has. I mean, he's no longer imprisoned and he can absolutely take revenge on Maeve for her family's part in trapping him. Except, umm, no. He can't. Because she's his fated mate who doesn't get burned by his fire and he's VERY UNHAPPY ABOUT THAT. Until he isn't.

Both Maeve and Balor have some baggage to get over, but after an extended say in the Otherworld, they manage to work things out. For a bloodthirsty brute, Balor is pretty careful with the fragile human who the gods have chosen for him. And Maeve? She just needs to work on the societal hangups that come with liking things with her monstrous male that normal people wouldn't understand.

GOOD STUFF ALL AROUND!

The Escape Game by Marissa Meyer and Tamara Moss [Review]

The Escape Game by Marissa Meyer and Tamara Moss
Format: ebook
Source: provided through NetGalley
Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Date read: March 18, 2026

Purchase Links: Hardcover | Kindle

Marissa Meyer
| Website | Amazon |

Tamara Moss
| Amazon |

Synopsis (Goodreads):

It’s all fun and games until someone ends up dead.

Six months ago, season four of The Escape Game ended in horror when contestant Alicia Angelos was found murdered on set.

Now season five is underway, and new contestants are ready to put their skills to the test solving the show's trickiest escape rooms. There's Adi, the cryptographer; Carter, the math whiz; Beck, the wannabe game master, and . . . Sierra Angelos, the girl who got away with her sister’s murder. Or so everyone believes.

But Sierra’s not just here to win. She’s here for justice.

When the contestants begin uncovering clues that hint at the identity of Alicia’s true killer, it becomes clear that the stakes aren’t high in this competition, they’re deadly. If these teens want to win—and survive—the game, they must solve the biggest mystery of all: who killed Alicia Angelos?

Thoughts on The Escape Game: The idea of a reality show where individuals who are whizzes at solving problems and escaping from complicated situations is good in theory. BUT (yes, that's a big but) when someone dies during the finale of the previous season and the person voted most likely to have done the deed is the victim's sister AND she's now been invited back to because THE DRAMA! Well, things get messy.

To say that this team hits a few bumps in the beginning might be understating things. Sierra is all sharp edges and towering anger. She knows what the others think of her, but she has her reasons for being back on the show. Reasons she doesn't want to share. Because, you know, she doesn't trust anyone. Beck, Adi, and Carter have their own reasons for joining the show and NONE of those reasons revolved around having a perpetually on edge teammate who might have gotten away with murder growl at them constantly.

They all have to deal with their own problems and insecurities, start trusting one another, AND come together as the crack team they know they can be if they hope to stay in the game long enough to figure out the truth about Sierra's sister's death. It takes time, effort, and one not-so-fun experience in a walk-in freezer before things start to gel.

That said, when you're looking for the truth behind a murder, you have to watch your back. And your front. And maybe take a few chances that put you in dangerous situations. You also have to be smart enough to decipher clues, read a room, and stay one step ahead of anyone who might be behind you. Bottom line: YESSSSSS. GOOD STUFF!