Saturday, November 3, 2012

Amanda and Kelly review: Ghouls Just Wanna Have Fun by Alessia Brio


Ghouls Just Wanna Have Fun by Alessia Brio
Synopsis (Amazon):
Learning to love Halloween! This story first appeared in Alessia's debut collection, fine flickering hungers.
Our Thoughts:
Kelly: I didn't see any tentacles in this book. FALSE ADVERTISING!

Amanda: I think it was a phantom tentacle, actually. "Probing hungrily, far deeper than any human tongue could possibly reach, and far more agile than any cock..."

Kelly: I... okay. Weren't they ghouls, though? Since when do ghouls have tentacles? This is like the time we read that werewolf story and he mysteriously started flying.

Amanda: Maybe it was an alien ghoul. Did you think of that?

Kelly: No, I did not. If it was an alien ghoul, he should have changed color while thrusting... oh, wait. She couldn't see him (or her, as the case may be), could she?

Amanda: Nope. She couldn't see anything. But the ghoul did have enough power to shut her vibrator off every time she got close to the promised land.

Kelly: Cruel ghoul! To torture a girl like that! Oh, the humanity! Speaking of which, the main character was kinda a grump about Halloween, wasn't she? "I'm only happy curling up with a book and a mug of spiced cider! *grump, grump, grump* Kids these days! *grump*"

Amanda: She had some lines at the beginning that reminded me of you. "Fucking adolescent malcontent ingrate hoodlums." That one, specifically.

Kelly: Is this about the time I called someone a goatfucker and wished them syphilis? That was TOTALLY called for, you know. Totally. I think.

Amanda: I believe it was: "Motherfucking, pig humping, syphilis riddled son of a WHORE!" Good times, good times.

Kelly: I had strong feelings about it. Clearly. Anyway. How did you feel about the sex in this one? Enough? Not enough? Too much? (yeah, right!)

Amanda: Not enough. I mean, obviously our intrepid heroine was satisfied, but I was not. Of course, I usually like it when my sexual partner is, you know, corporeal.

Kelly: Oh, you're just saying that. You know what they say! "Once you go ghoul, nothing's as cool!" Actually, these ghouls were hot to the touch, weren't they? Huh. Okay, scrap that. On the other hand, the ghoul seemed able to control her mind. Or something. It made her touch herself. MADE HER!

Amanda: (O)_(O) The ghoul whispers to her and tried to get her to do things. Like masturbate. She was awfully shy about that, wasn't she? But she didn't seem too shy about masturbating alone. She did say she was going to have to replace her vibrator soon because it had lot of mileage on it.

Kelly: Well, she also said that she preferred masturbating over having a relationship with a real person because it was quicker and came (heh) with less entanglements. OF COURSE HER VIBRATOR HAD A LOT OF MILEAGE!

Amanda: Good point. You know, all it took was one ghoul sexual encounter to turn her RAGE at Halloween into UTTER EXCITEMENT. I think she'd be okay with having a relationship with a ghoul. With her vibrator as backup.

Kelly: Too bad he/she/it only comes (heh) around once a year. She's going to have 364 days of pent up tension every year. That's a lot of days!

Amanda: I guess that's what her vibrator is for. A new one, though. I don't think her old vibrator will last through all that tension.

Kelly: On the plus side, choosing a Christmas gift for her should be easy enough... batteries, batteries, batteries!


Ghouls Just Wanna Have Fun was a free ARE download we picked up on 10/24/12.

4 comments:

  1. Yeah, I read this one a while ago and it was not good. Very short and virtually non-existent sex.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It wasn't terrible (trust me, I've read terrible) but the sex could have been a little ... more.

      Delete
  2. If she prefers her vibrator it makes sense that a ghostly ghoul would complete her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly. Now, if the ghoul could come around more than one day a year... she'd be GOLD!

      Delete