Amanda and Kelly review: Let's Fuck Before the Zombies Get Us! by Lexi Maxxwell

Let's Fuck Before the Zombies Get Us! by Lexi Maxxwell
Synopsis (Amazon):

For two years, Fred lusted after Simone during the day, then covered his knuckles with cum while squeezing his eyes tight at night. With her dark, supple skin, large, round breasts, trim waist, and an ass that was a billboard for pleasure, she gave Fred more than enough material for his own (and rather detailed) mind movies. He also got the spit to fly from his one-eyed snake while jacking the shaft to any of the hundred or so voyeur-shots he’d managed to snap with his smartphone.

Now, the world outside has ended, and Fred and Simone are the last two people, alone in the clinic where they've worked together for the last two years. Will the end of the world, and all the countless zombies wandering around it, finally drive Simone to where Fred's always longed for her to be?

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Our Thoughts:
Amanda: This book is gold with penis nicknames.

Kelly: Oh my glob, yes! Also, it hit a horrifying note early on when *gasp* TWITTER WENT DOWN DURING THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!

Amanda: I think that was the scariest part of the book. (Though I'm not finished yet, so who knows)

Kelly: Ahahahaha! "He hefted his cock in his hand like a two-handed sword..." I'm getting distracted by all the different words being used to describe his MONSTROUS FUCKSTICK! No joke!

Amanda: There are SO MANY NAMES!

Kelly: Dude. DUDE. This was awesome!

Amanda: Can we make a list of all the different penis names? I think they need to be collected and discussed.

Kelly: Yes! We might need a list of the lady parts, too.

Amanda: Okay. Notable penis names:

• one-eyed snake
• purple shroom
• purple headed yogurt slinger
• throbbing pounder (also: pulsating pounder)
• fuckstick
• throbber
• big beefer
• juicy meat (also: thick meat, throbbing meat)
• swollen gland
• baby maker
• angry limb
• fuckwand

Kelly: I am... impressed by this list. I can't even choose a favorite because they're all so... descriptive!

Amanda: I'm partial to "purple headed yogurt slinger."

Kelly: Ha! "Angry limb" sounds so painful! You know, Fred gets all these descriptors for his junk and Simone gets "fresh tuna" to describe her lady parts. That doesn't seem fair.

Amanda: Maybe Simone's fresh tuna was making his limb angry. I don't know. It doesn't seem very fair. Wait. Didn't Simone also describe her clit as a "tiny dick"?

Kelly: Yes, she gave it a little two finger stroking like it was a tiny dick. o.O

Amanda: She also got covered in Fred's stringy, ropy cum. She really liked Fred's cum. And his 10 inch (minimum...maybe a foot long) dick.

Kelly: I'm almost tempted to pit Fred against the dude from "The Man Who Came Too Much" and see who had more volume of cum. It sounds like he made it RAIN on Simone!

Amanda: Yes! We'll call it Cum Wars.

Kelly: The question is whether the Man Who Came Too Much can perform during the Zombie Apocalypse. He might have performance issues, you know.

Amanda: Well, I think we should write a bad erotica called "The Zombie Apocalypse Cum Wars" and see what happens.

Kelly: You have the BEST ideas!

Let's Fuck Before the Zombies Get Us! was a free download we picked up on 10/31/12.