Serial Killers' Featured Review: Theodosia and the Last Pharaoh by R.L. LaFevers

Want to know more about the idea behind Serial Killers? This post is the place to start.

This month's book is Theodosia and the Last Pharaoh the 4th book in the Theodosia Throckmorton series by R.L. LaFevers. Odd is the established reader and I'm new to the series...

Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Synopsis (Goodreads)

In this fourth book in the series, Theodosia sets off to Egypt to return the Emerald Tablet—embedded with the knowledge of some of the ancient world’s most guarded secrets. Accompanied by her cat, Isis (smuggled along in a basket), Theo plans to return the artifact, then explore the mysteries surrounding her own birth and oh, yes— help her mother dig up treasures on her archeological expedition. But nothing ever works out as planned, especially when a precious treasure appears suddenly, and then just as suddenly disappears . . . When the Serpents of Chaos get involved, Theo finds she’s digging up a lot more than she expected!

Kelly's Thoughts: Disclaimer: I was in some sort of weird head space when I started this book and I think that contributed to how hard it was for me to connect to the characters and events in the beginning. So... you know, take that into consideration. Because once I shook off my funk, I liked the book quite a bit.

Sooooo... I'm coming in at book 4 and I really don't know who's who or what's going on. Theodosia is spunky (in a good way) and her special abilities make her a little odd (in a good way... I mean, she is saving people and stuff) and I can only assume that her parents have had issues with her propensity for finding trouble in the past. Although, to be fair, it's not so much Theo seeking out trouble as falling into it or being chased down the street by it. Can you really blame her for that? Of course you can't. At least, I can't.

I really liked the overall world that's been created. With a heroine who can see and feel magic, a shrouded group who protect the world around them from curses, and a villainous group of no-good deceivers who want the old magic for themselves this was jam-packed with shenanigans. Seriously, Theodosia went from one (nearly) catastrophic event to the next with barely enough time to freshen up between.

Now, I do have to admit that I have a bit of a problem with parents keeping BIG THINGS from their spawn. Not that I think parents should tell said children everything but, with all the craziness that Theodosia seems to find herself in the middle of, why aren't her parents giving her the answers to her questions about her birth? I just... DON'T GET THAT! Speak up! Tell your spawn that they have some wonky stuff in their ancestry! IT MIGHT SAVE THEIR LIFE!

That said, I do get why they kept some of the things away from her. I also think (based on this book by itself) that Theodosia's mom is a little mercenary in her archaeological practices. Maybe that's just me.

Bottom line - I had a rough time getting into the first part (possibly my fault) but enjoyed the overall feel of the book. It was chock full of a lot of intriguing historical bits and had a spunky heroine who doesn't let the fact that she's a stranger in a strange land stop her from doing what's right.

Odd's Thoughts: Theodosia's mama was so cagey, y'all. So cagey.

It was clear that she had a pretty good idea what was going on from the beginning, and yet later in the book she was acting all surprised about Theo's powers, which really, with one big exception, lay in being extraordinarily self-possessed, well-spoken and intelligent for an 11-year-old. Yet her mother's still trying to pretend everything's normal, and in fact Theo should think she's in trouble for saving everyone's bacon. Tssh.

MOTHERS: DO NOT DO THIS.

I'm with Kelly on agreeing that the first part of the book was a little slow, by which I mean I didn't drop right into the Cairo train station with Theo and her mother (and poor wee Isis the cat who gave me fits for days). It didn't feel...real somehow, in a way that surprised me mainly because in the three previous books I really felt the London fog on my face and smelt the must of the beloved Museum of Antiquities and the grit of Egypt two books ago actually rubbed my toes raw. Whereas here it was like oh hey, a demonstration. Let's get off the train and wander into that demonstration against English colonial occupation. While being English colonialists.

To some extent, I'd hazard that the restraint of that scene has to do with the author wanting to ease the reader into Colonial Oppression and You (MG Fiction Series), because there's a definite escalation in the realities of oppression Theodosia learns to deal with: her being unsure what to make of Gadji's disapproving of her running around with a sacred Egyptian artifact; her quite effective conversation with the Egyptian housekeeper, who explains:

"Young miss does not like having her mother make all her decisions for her, no? Telling her where she can go and when? Who she can see and for how long. Does young miss like having no control over her life? How she lives it and what she does with it?"

"Well of course not!"

"And that is how it is with the Inglaize in charge of our country."

WHANG! Political frying pan right between your 11-year-old eyes.

This restraint seems to have been in place throughout the period that Theo and her mother are in Cairo, moving along this protected circuit of train station to hotel, hotel to museum and back. And then when they finally leave Cairo and go out to Luxor, it's like the book gets out of bed and puts its crinolines on. They have much less protection (not counting Major Grindle who was kind of weird and not really effective at all -- which I kind of adored as commentary about the patriarchy, frankly) and Theo and her mother both get on with what they're there to do. From then on, the book starts to feel much more real. Again, was that intentional on the part of the author, that these women's lives read as more authentic when not chaperoned by the patriarchy? Probably not, I probably just forgot to take my meds today and am totally over-excited and propelled along by the power of wishful thinking.

(Are we even gonna talk about the bit where Isis the cat gets anointed by Theodosia's own finger, gets her wild panther on and starts tearing men apart, or nah? I mean, I'm here for y'all who want to talk about fear of young women on the cusp of womanhood, but I'm guessing we're not there yet.)

All in all, I enjoyed this book, but I didn't love it. It was a satisfactory ending to the series that left the door open for Theo to move into a new series. I'm still kind of struggling with why I didn't love it as much as the previous two.

Odd: So, is it being too much of a booknerd if I say that I really, really hate the front and back covers of the hardcover edition of this book? And the spine, too, I hate the spine design. Which really surprised me because I'm a huge fan of the design of the paperback editions of the earlier books in this series. But since I couldn't wait for the paperback version of this book to come out, I sprang for the hardback. I feel like there's a lesson in here somewhere.

Kelly: Uhh... yeah. Maybe. Of course, I have nothing to compare it to (not having seen the earlier books) so maybe I'd hate them, too. I DON'T KNOW!

Odd: Okaaaaay. Did you like the book as a whole? Or are you so frustrated with my lateness that your side of the banter is just going to consist of exclamation points and throwing things?

Not that that's not justified, because it is.

Kelly: Ha! I did enjoy the book but I had a tough time getting into the beginning of it. I don't know if it was trying to play catch-up on what came before or just my general mood as I was reading it. *shrug*

Odd: I don't think it was you with the beginning. I really struggled with it. That cat in a basket thing made me nervous and then the crowd scene at the station in Egypt made me wonder whether there'd be some straying into xenophobic territory. I had grave misgivings.

How much did you love that the secret brotherhood of whatnot were essentially a pack of obsessive librarians?

Kelly: You know, people always underestimate the librarians. NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE LIBRARIANS OF THE WORLD! THEY KNOW THINGS!

Odd: Or monkeys, apparently.

Kelly: True. Monkeys are often underestimated.

Odd: I think that's my favorite takeaway from this book. That young women even more than monkeys, are underestimated, *with the inevitable tragic results.* Like riots. And the raising of the dead.

Or maybe that was all the monkey's fault.

Liked it, but we both fell short of loving it

Books in this series
1. Theodosia and the Serpents of Chaos
2. Theodosia and the Staff of Osiris
3. Theodosia and the Eyes of Horus
4. Theodosia and the Last Pharaoh - Paperback | Kindle

Author Links
| Website | Twitter | Facebook | Amazon |

Serial Killers' Featured Review: Even White Trash Zombies Get the Blues by Diana Rowland

Want to know more about the idea behind Serial Killers? This post is the place to start.

This month's book is Even White Trash Zombies Get the Blues the 2nd book in the White Trash Zombie series by Diana Rowland. I'm the established reader and Odd is new to the series...

Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Synopsis (Goodreads)

Angel Crawford is finally starting to get used to life as a brain-eating zombie, but her problems are far from over. Her felony record is coming back to haunt her, more zombie hunters are popping up, and she’s beginning to wonder if her hunky cop-boyfriend is involved with the zombie mafia. Yeah, that’s right—the zombie mafia.

Throw in a secret lab and a lot of conspiracy, and Angel’s going to need all of her brainpower—and maybe a brain smoothie as well—in order to get through it without falling apart.

Odd's Thoughts: Right off the bat, I think you should know I hate zombie books. I mean hate-hate them. Like a rock in your shoe hate. Like staying overnight in the hospital hate. That kind.

And I fucking loved this book.

I loved it so much I have ordered the prequel and added the sequel to my secret Upcoming Releases list despite how much trouble I get in when an Amazon box arrives at the door. Y'all I just could not help myself. I am Team Angel, motherfuckers, and woe betide the person thinking to talk me down.

Because the thing is: I am old as dirt and twice as crotchety. And I love the hell out of Angel.

I love her foul mouth. I love her neurosis. But over every last thing in creation, I love her anger.

Angel's angry about being seen as white trash, as a felon, as a girl on probation, as not good enough for Marcus' uncle and the snooty-crazy lady scientists his circle holds. And I get that anger like whoa. I get the kind of anger that makes you keep going simply because someone tells you you can't. Because the only thing that can quell it is survival. It's going to your job and keeping going, getting decent performance reviews and doing things the naysayers would never believe you were capable of. The satisfaction that comes from pushing back on that voice keeps you going in the same, paradoxical way it feeds the self-same anger that fuels you in the first place.

And it's what makes this book so damn good.

I can sit here and talk about how to subvert the conventional zombie trope and gender politics and orality in fiction and socioeconomic class in the literary horror subgenre (not that I would do any of those foul things to you, babies, I love you all too much for that nonsense) but what I really want to talk about is how angry Angel is, and how that anger feeds this narrative, and how refreshing it is to find a book where we can talk about terrible horrible alternatives to rape and provide a venue for an angry female protagonist who takes control of her life and pushes the fuck back on people who want to control/manipulate her. Seriously, this is like the best Linda Hamilton fanfic ever except better. It's like Linda Hamilton had a daughter, who she then neglected due to PTSD, and who grew up expecting the world to kick her in the teeth.

And then she learns how to kick back.


Kelly's Thoughts: I *really* liked book 1 in this series and I went into this one with high hopes. While the overlying plot is somewhat predictable (a secret lab, shady authority figures, etc), Angel's growth absolutely kept me hooked. Where book 1 left her realizing that she can be more than the white trash junkie with a police record and a messed up home life, book 2 had her moving forward in taking control and keeping her life on the track she wants it on. YAY, ANGEL!

I LOVED that she called Marcus on how he manages her. That was my total *fist pump* moment. Angel's not stupid. She has good ideas and she has good instincts (although sometimes she lets her enthusiasm get her into trouble), so when Marcus doesn't tell her things because he thinks she'll be better off not knowing, it's not cool. I also liked that her co-workers rallied around her when her job was on the line. Having friends who aren't junkie losers comes in handy when you're in a pinch. They, you know, actually stand by you and offer their support.

As I said, while the overall arc isn't breaking any new ground (did you hear the part about secret labs and shady authority figures?), I was still thoroughly entertained. We were given more information on the zombies and how they do what they do, which was neat and different. Some lingering questions from the events in book 1 were cleared up and the groundwork for book 3 was laid out. Good stuff, man. Good stuff.

Odd: I think the very first question I have, the one that's burning in my gut is: WHY HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING THIS BOOK FROM ME FOR SO LONG?

Kelly: Weeeeelllllll, it's mostly because you're not usually a huge proponent of all things zombie. So, you know, I didn't think you'd actually like it. Plus, let's be honest here, I don't have the best track record with reccing you books that you end up loving. *gives you the side eye*

Odd: I know! That's what I'm saying! Why didn't you lead with this right off the bat?

Girl.

Kelly: It hasn't been all that long since *I* read the first book. This is a fairly new find for me, too!

Odd: Girl...

Kelly: Lol! Well, I'm glad you're enjoying it.

Odd: You're right though about me and zombie books. I am not a fan of the shuffling and the groaning and the brain-eating, so I'm right with you in being surprised at how much I liked a book where the hero is herself a zombie. Even though I think, there's a certain amount of cheating that occurred with this particular form of zombieing, in that these particular zombies were basically exactly who they'd been in life with very little rotting or shambling. I mean, c'mon: brain smoothies?

It's like zombie lite -- but that was *exactly* my speed for the undead.

Kelly: Yes, they were who they were in life UNLESS they reached that "starved for brains" level and started gnawing on people indiscriminately. The moral of this story is... always keep a ready supply of brains on hand so you don't attack random people in the street for their juicy, gray matter. At least, that's what I took away from it.

Odd: Weird. I took away that if I have to get zombified I wanna do it in southern Louisiana. Can we talk about all the awesome diners and junk food Angel got into? Because my mouth was a-WATERING. And I thought the way those foods were interspersed with, for instance, brain stir-fry was so so so smart. And I do love a good smart.

Kelly: Ooh! YES! Man, now I'm hungry. Not for brain stir-fry, though. Just for food.

Odd: Not me, baby. I'm sated on the fury that propels Angel through this book. Mm-mm. Lip-smacking good.

Kelly: I am thrilled -- THRILLED -- to have found a zombie book you enjoyed!

Odd: There's a big Amazon box headed my way right now and it's all your fault. Now, I do have quibbles with your review, fiend. In your review, you mention that Angel's growth kept you hooked. And I'd like to unpack that statement because if anything, if any last mimbly pimbly thing going on here is something I didn't like, I was a little disappointed by the last 20 pages of the book, which I feel are all about Angel's growth.

So talk to me: what specifically were you seeing as Angel's growth?

Kelly: Compared to book one -- where she was just floating along as the same old Angel, making the same old mistakes -- she made HUGE strides in this book. She's choosing to be more than she was before. Honestly, in book one, she was the quintessential White Trash Zombie. She was all the cliches and now she's not. Well, she's still working on the 'not' part, but the potential is there.

Odd: Gotcha! OMG I NEED BOOK ONE LIKE NOW. Because for me, those last 20 pages, after she's fought her demons, after she's fought all the voices of people telling her she'll never amount to anything, after she's literally fought her way single-handedly out of that research facility, then the fact that she does not light Pietro on fire where he stands was honestly a little disappointing. So I'm glad to hear that you're not endorsing that.

Now can we talk about the covers for a moment?

Because I would never have picked up this book with its existing cover, but clearly this book needs to go on the Special Bookcase. I find the tension between these two statements problematic.

Kelly: Have you seen the cover for book 1? The Nieceling and I WANT her hair. The pink tips! *squeal*

Part of what makes her struggle so intriguing to me is that she's not only battling against herself (she sees herself as white trash and she doesn't see any way out of BEING white trash) but she's also battling the labels that people in her town have slapped her with. Yeah, she screwed up. She's a fount of bad choices, in fact. BUT... she doesn't have to be. And it wasn't until this book that she really started seeing that in herself.

Odd: I get the hair thing, and book cover #1 is okay, but it wouldn't necessarily make me want to read the book. But the cover for this book and the sequel?  Nuh uh. Uh uh. Nope. Nope. Nopity nope nope nope.

Kelly: They give off a very white trash sort of vibe, yeah? Full circle!

Odd: Agreed! But.... I wouldn't choose the books based on those covers. And I get that's meta but ZOMG I COULD HAVE MISSED THESE.

Which leads us back to why you failed to bring this book to the table right away, like first thing in this serial-killing house.

Kelly: I apologize from the bottom of my black, little heart.

Odd: So help me, Kelly, you too are like 90 lbs soaking wet and wearing a heavy backpack; I will turn you upside-down and shake. WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU HIDDEN FROM ME?

Kelly: I don't know! You've rattled my brains by LIKING this one. I just... I DON'T KNOW!

Odd: *shake shake shake*

Kellyyyyyyyyyy!

*shake shake shake*

Unequivocal Epic Win

Books in this series
1. My Life as a White Trash Zombie
2. Even White Trash Zombies Get the Blues - Paperback | Kindle
3. White Trash Zombie Apocalypse

Author Links
| Website | Twitter | Facebook | Amazon |

Serial Killers' Featured Review: Broken Harbor by Tana French

Want to know more about the idea behind Serial Killers? This post is the place to start.

This month's book is Broken Harbor the 4th book in the Dublin Murder Squad series by Tana French. Odd's the established reader and I'm new(ish) to the series...

Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Synopsis (Goodreads)

Mick "Scorcher" Kennedy, the brash cop from Tana French’s bestselling Faithful Place, plays by the book and plays hard. That’s what’s made him the Murder squad’s top detective—and that’s what puts the biggest case of the year into his hands.

On one of the half-built, half-abandoned "luxury" developments that litter Ireland, Patrick Spain and his two young children are dead. His wife, Jenny, is in intensive care.

At first, Scorcher and his rookie partner, Richie, think it’s going to be an easy solve. But too many small things can’t be explained. The half dozen baby monitors, their cameras pointing at holes smashed in the Spains’ walls. The files erased from the Spains’ computer. The story Jenny told her sister about a shadowy intruder who was slipping past all the locks.

And Broken Harbor holds memories for Scorcher. Seeing the case on the news sends his sister Dina off the rails again, and she’s resurrecting something that Scorcher thought he had tightly under control: what happened to their family one summer at Broken Harbor, back when they were children.

With her signature blend of police procedural and psychological thriller, French’s new novel goes full throttle with a heinous crime, creating her most complicated detective character and her best book yet.

Kelly's Thoughts: I can already tell this is going to be a hard review for me to write because part of me loved how dark it was and part of me feels this vague disquiet about the events that happened in Detective Kennedy's past. This is the same thing that happened to me with book 1 in this series -- I wanted answers to the mystery that came before and the answers we were given didn't leave me feeling completely satisfied. Here's the thing, we did get the story of what happened in that long ago summer but I feel like there was a lot left unresolved. For some reason that bothers me.

Now, the present day murders are interesting. Tana French builds and builds and builds the tension on that one and I thought it worked beautifully. It's a nasty, dirty crime they're investigating and the deeper Kennedy and Curran climb into what happened, the odder things get. Without giving things away, there are some things that happen later on in the story that I'm conflicted on. I understand the reasoning behind it to an extent, but I had a hard time grasping how the person who did this thing thought it was an acceptable course of action.

Now, Kennedy is an interesting character to watch. He knows his limitations and he's learned to work around them. He's trained himself to be fiercely controlled -- he doesn't allow the sniping of his arch-nemesis on the squad get to him, he checks and double checks his evidence -- and he's darn good at his job. His mental unraveling is fascinating to watch as he struggles to handle his kooky sister and the demands of this particular investigation. As a random aside, Kennedy isn't called "Scorcher" very often in this book and it kind of bothers me that it's used so predominantly in the synopsis.

Overall, I liked the present day murder and how twisty the path to figuring things out ended up being. I liked the characters, for the most part. I just wish that we had been given a little more... closure, maybe, on the family issues Kennedy had to deal with in the past.

Odd's Thoughts:  I think I might be biased because I loved the first two books in the series, but this one, for me, kind of fell flat. Scorcher Kennedy, a Murder Squad detective from the previous book, is breaking in a rookie detective (who I totally hope gets to narrate the next book because he was hella interesting) at a multiple murder scene, out in a coastal belly-flop of a new development where Scorcher had a family tragedy from his childhood.

I'm right with Kelly on the bizarre twists of reasoning that let to the person doing the thing (I know, we're cryptic) thought even for an instant it was okay, but it was at least narratively interesting. It gave Scorcher something to bitch about.

But other than that, I felt really let down by both the solution to the murder and by Scorcher as a main character. Bring back Cassie Maddox!

Odd: JFC what a let-down.

Now, you need to know that The Likeness, book 2 of the series, is in serious contention for my book of the year, 2012-Gagnam-style. And even then I could tell that Frank Mackey, Cassie's handler back when she worked undercover was a fucking twat. One whole book of Frank Mackey later (Faithful Place) my opinion of him has not improved, and then this book on top of that, we have another unlikeable version of the flawed hero. You read book 1, In the Woods: how did Rob Ryan, the hero of that book (who I found flawed and unlikeable but *fascinating*) compare with Scorcher Kennedy?

Kelly: Rob Ryan. I definitely found him flawed and fascinating. I honestly don't remember if I found him unlikable. (It's been a while since I read that book!) As for Kennedy, I'm wavering on him. I can appreciate that he's a solid guy who knows what his weaknesses are and I can appreciate that his sole goal is to find the person responsible and bring them to justice but there are times when he's a real ass.

Odd: See, Rob you could understand why he was fucked up, and there's this great moment in The Likeness where Cassie, who is still trying to come to terms with all the fallout from In the Woods points out that Rob was destined to shatter during the course of that case, and she just put herself in his path, gave him something to shatter against.

Scorcher, on the other hand, it felt like his dominant mode was to be full of himself, just floating along on his vaaaaast wealth of experience and using it as justification for how he treated his new partner and the lab techs and everyone around him. And while both Rob and Scorcher are very similar -- they both had these tragic incidents in their past, they were both desperate to keep everyone around them from finding out, they both let the secrets ruin them professionally, they both fell out with their partners, they both wanted to blame everything on an innocent party (Rob:Cassie::Scorcher:Dina), cue bizarre love triangle -- but the key difference, I think, was how unlikeable Dina was. See, I adore Cassie. And Dina? Not so much. Which I understand is problematic because her mental instability was so well portrayed.

Kelly: Okay, yes! Dina confused me because, on one hand, she's not all there and her actions COMPLETELY support this. On the other hand, the way she stitched herself into Kennedy's life -- messing up his work schedule, expecting him to be there for her when he couldn't be -- was really difficult to read. I get why she did the things she did but it made her a very hard character to like or sympathize with.

One of my complaints with both book 1 and book 4 is that there's not a lot of resolution to the respective past mysteries. Is this something that carries through all of Tana French's books or am I just lucky like that?

Odd: You want to see her as all tragic and kind of noble in a way because Scorcher's giving up everything for her and he's constantly telling you she can't be left alone and fragile fragile fragile and then it turns out this person he's investing so much in is really unpleasant. Effective characterization, yes, but it didn't make the read enjoyable. There was basically no one in the book I liked.

And I have to say that the unresolved ending has carried through all the books. I really like how it's been done though. It appeals to my love of the indefinable and kind of spooky.

Kelly: I personally would prefer more resolution BUT I can also see that real life doesn't give you all the answers. Still, it was hard for me to get so caught up in the past mystery and basically not get any answers as to why it happened. I don't know. I did like the parallels between the present mystery and the way Kennedy's personal life was slowly unraveling.

Odd: The structure was good, I'll admit, and it made sense, but at the same time a) the solution to the case undered mah whelm significantly, and b) having read the whole series, this is the only structure French has used. In each book, as the flawed hero works to solve a case, their personal life unravels in tandem with the progress they make on the mystery. Then once the case is resolved, the hero is entirely shattered. And on the one hand this makes a lot of sense because the series is basically one Murder Squad detective, one case (which I love -- a welcome change from cozies where one innocuous-seeming small businessperson finds 18 dead bodies, book after book and the FBI never shows up all MA'AM. MA'AM? WE NEED TO TALK.)

but on the other hand, by Broken Harbor I was starting to find it repetitive.

...You know this is all just basically my bitterness at this book not being all that The Likeness is, right?

Kelly: Ha! Well, you also mainlined all four books over a short time frame. I can understand where you're coming from. Especially from the repetitive angle.

What's your final verdict, Boo? Good but not up to book 2? Could've done without this one altogether?

Odd: I thnk I'm going to have to go with "could've done without this one altogether". I keep coming back to how disappointed I was by the resolution of the mystery along with how I cared not one whit for any of the characters.

Kelly: Fair enough.

A Tough Sell

Books in this series
1. Into the Woods
2. The Likeness
3. Faithful Place
4. Broken Harbor - Hardcover | Kindle
5. The Secret Place

Author Links
| Website | Amazon |

Serial Killers' Featured Review: Dead Sky Morning by Karina Halle

Want to know more about the idea behind Serial Killers? This post is the place to start.

This month's book is Dead Sky Morning the 3rd book in the Experiment in Terror series by Karina Halle. I'm the established reader and Odd is new to the series...

Synopsis (Goodreads)

With the Experiment in Terror show finding some success, amateur ghost hunters Perry Palomino and Dex Foray embark on their most terrifying investigation yet. A tiny, fog-shrouded island in the rough strait between British Columbia and Washington State has held a dark secret for decades: It was a former leper colony where over forty souls were left to rot, die and bury each other. Now a functioning campground, Perry and Dex spend an isolated weekend there to investigate potential hauntings but as the duo quickly find out, there is more to fear on D’Arcy Island than just ghosts. The island quickly pits partner against partner, spiraling the pair into madness that serves to destroy their sanity, their relationship and their very lives.

Odd's Thoughts: Man, I was rooting for the zombie lepers. Hoo.

Here's my problem with the book: it basically boils down to a slugfest between Awesome Setting, Kickass Plot and Characters Who Needed Their Heads Knocked Together. And they were being coached in that corner by Clunky Writing Style of Clunkiness.

Now I realize I bang on about clunky writing style all the time, because it is one of my pet peeves, but I can understand if you're skeptical what with the repetition. And I'm at the point that I get that all books, self-published and traditional, come with a certain number of typos and grammar issues, but in this particular book, my issue was with word choice. Coming up with metaphors and similes that haven't been done to death is tough work. Ditto crafting vivid descriptions, but...okay look, let's read the opening pages together and I'll show you what I mean:

--My mind reeled awake like the slow wind of undeveloped film...I couldn't bring my mind around fast enough to remember anything concrete. But there were thoughtless flashes. (How can things in your head be thoughtless?)

--The reel in my head spun wildly, more shady images skittering past the spokes. (Is your head a damn bicycle wheel? What spokes? Y'ALL THIS ANNOYED ME ENOUGH TO WIKI HOW PROJECTORS WORK. FOR THREE FULL MINUTES.)

--I concentrated, desperately finding some light my retinas could latch on to (...but it stays completely dark, so the light wasn't really found. Also: ow, don't latch your retinas onto things.)

--I had the distinct feeling that I was floating as my inner ear rolled and swayed inside my heavy head (Nope, not how ears work. Fluid can roll about inside your inner ear, but if your inner ear's rolling and swaying, we're talking severe head trauma)

--I felt dampness at my back and, bit by bit, the sensation that my hands were emerged in ice water. (...Were they *submerged* in the damn ice water?)

So, all of those are from the first two pages. Now, given that beginnings can sometimes be a little shaky, I wanted to give this author the benefit of the doubt but there was literally something that made me crazy every other page. Every other page!

--This anonymous coward was just reinstating everything I felt about myself already. (Repeating? Re-stating? Reinforcing?)

--I walked over to the meter where I had parked Put-Put and piloted him through the cold winds that ruffled my back (I seriously don't want to know what it looks like when someone's back ruffles. Especially not in a book about ghost lepers.)

--just hearing the music and the sound of his toothpick as it flitted against his teeth (is the toothpick animate?)

Whatever. Fine. I'm picky and I do too much editing for other jobs. There's a whole succession of descriptions that grated on me so much I had to make a list of them (I need a hobby) and figure out why they bothered me so much, and discovered there were physics and semantics violations at work that only like, four people in the world care about. Fine. Fine. I can take medication for that. But:

Picking what log to sit on was a bit like trying on underwear. Some had bird poop on it, some were too small for my ass to rest comfortably on. Eventually I found a nice broad one and took a seat.

Holy mother of pearl. What the fuck kind of underwear does this chick strut around in? And so, my hand to Heaven, when sexytimes came around and Dex goes for Perry's drawers, I thought, "I really hope those aren't the ones with bird shit on them."

Then there was this:

He was staring out at the sparkling bay as we hurried along on the wall. I had to agree. The way the weak sun hit the water was hypnotic and spread out in front of us like a wavering welcome mat. The far off islands were dark lumps of green and on some of them was a light sugar dusting of snow. The sky was cloudless and cheery, bouncing off the mixture of high rises that bloomed to our right. 

Do y'all even need me to--

I can't even--

It's just-- GRAH! Fine: I'm not sure how a sun can be spread out like a welcome mat, have no idea how a sky can bounce off anything, but most of all, sunlight appears weakened when it's coming through a layer of clouds, or haze, or smog. You know, the kind of things that are entirely absent from the cloudless sky.

Look, I am well aware that these things will not bother everyone, or even maybe half of everyone, but they drove me bananas. Every. Other. Page. Any maybe I could've gotten past this and enjoyed the creepy island full of ghost lepers, had I really liked either of the two main characters.

I didn't.

I get that Dex is supposed to be the tortured sensitive bad boy figure, and he was both bad and a boy, I'll grant you that, but there was nothing redeeming about him except perhaps that right in the middle of the sexytimes he suddenly grew a third hand (not joking, go back and read that section of the book again). Other than that, he was all douche, no bag. He was so belittling of Perry, and so manipulative, and this whole taking-her-phone business. Look, if a dude takes away your phone and acts like he has any right to do so, bring that knee up for glory, ladies.

Feel free to add a little in-step stomp for any dude who uses "gay shit" and "retarded" as adjectives.

Perry...

In the beginning, I could not stand Perry one iota. And by "in the beginning" I mean, for about 70% of the book. Throwing things when you don't get your way is not cute. Throwing a tantrum when someone tells you to grow up? Less cute. She would not shut up about how much she loved Dex, and how did he feeeeeeeeel and did he like her? Or did he like-like her? She kept saying "He's a boy" when Dex did some stereotypically dumb male thing, and "Maybe it was a girl thing but--"

Look, it's probably not a girl thing, because I'm a girl, and at that point in the book I wanted to beat both Dex and Perry to death with one of those damn raccoons they were so blase about. I was pro-death-by-raccoon for both of them, plot bedamned.

But then, when things got crazy with the ghost lepers, she mysteriously grew a spine, told Dex off, then channeled the sainted spirit of Linda Motherfucking Hamilton as they went charging round that island.

And for a brief moment, I was Team Perry.

But by the time they got back to the mainland and she'd started whining about Dex's girlfriend Jenn again (oh yes, Dex is already spoken for, ladies. Likely because of his third hand.)

About 70% of the way through the book, the plot manages to strangle the annoying protagonists and kick ever'body into high gear. Eye-socket-mice! Cell reception of narrative convenience! Creepy dead baby! Ghost with a knife! Coffins! Flare gun! Zipline! Linda Hamilton! Deadly rose bush!

But 70% is a very, very, very long time to wait for a book to get started.

My Thoughts: Here's my disclaimer, folks: I LOVE this series so ridiculously much that I've been known to make embarrassing, high-pitched noises that only marine life and dogs can hear, wax poetic about the brilliance that is Perry and Dex, and recommend this series to EVERYONE who innocently asks for a book rec. This book in particular is one of my early in the series favorites. We get to see Dex and Perry's relationship begin to deepen -- Dex admits that he cares for Perry and I go all swoony because OMFG!YES! -- and they're on a freaking DESERTED LEPER COLONY ISLAND AND THAT FREAKS ME OUT SO MUCH THAT I HAVE TO USE ALL CAPS TO MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND!

*quivers*

Right. Okay. As you might know, I'm a hardcore sucker for stories where our hero and heroine are stranded somewhere with only each other to rely on. I just LOVE that. When Dex and Perry have to share a sleeping bag, I go gooey. When Dex and Perry play their drinking games, I GO ALL GOOEY. Do you sense a theme here? Them being on the island with no one else around puts me in my happy place. And then the leprous ghosts show up and things get BETTER! Because I'm also a sucker for grossness and unexplained things.

Between the ghosties and the crazy that's infecting both Dex and Perry, this book worked for me. Dex's manic mood swings are there but they're tempered by his need to watch out for Perry as the creepy island gets under her skin and she starts acting erratically. Perry confronts Dex on some things that have been building up since book 1. Plus, there might be some unexpected skin-on-skin contact -- which I fully approve of.

After rereading this book, I'm still a hardcore fan and I wouldn't be adverse to rereading the entire series again. Soon. Because Dex and Perry's story makes me very, very happy. I just love those two crazy kids!

Odd: And now I'd like to have a brief moment of silence for the raccoon...

Kelly:  I had no love for the nearly-rabid raccoon. NO LOVE.

PS: You and I did not see eye to eye on this book. Did you see the part about my hardcore love? It's true. I love this series like WHOA!

Odd: I was Team Raccoon, baby.

I did see your declaration of hardcore love for this book, and it gave me oh, at least two seconds of pause while writing my review.

Kelly: It was the island, man! The island drove both Dex and Perry nutty! Seriously, Perry was going off the boards in this book. More so than usual.

Odd: But see, if I only liked her when she was acting out of character...

Where'd I put my good raccoon?

Kelly: Hmmph. Well, at least you got some crazy lepers and skin-peeling madness.

Odd: You mad, boo?

Don't be mad....

Boo...?

Kelly: Nah. I'm not mad. It's like when I started the Logan McRae series at book 7 and just... couldn't get into it like you did. Different strokes for different folks and all that jazz. Amirite?

Odd: Gosh, I'm so relieved you're not mad I wanted to kill both main characters with a double-bore repeating assault raccoon that I'm... I'm.... *verklempt*

*sniff*

Kelly: I always end up making you read books that you hate. I'M SORRY!

Odd: I honestly find it hilarious at this point. Who are you, dude? Where do you find all these books?

Also, not yet part of a series, but I should point out I have a pararom on my shelves to read that I'm actually enjoying. I am not unredeemable. Just kind of an asshole. Seriously. Who else do you know would have a hissyfit (with raccoon) about lack of semantic feature-matching in adjectival descriptions? Like I sat down and made a list. There were diagrams.

Kelly: No one else. NO ONE! I still love you, though. Even though your book-lovin' radar is on the fritz.

Odd:

Picking what log to sit on was a bit like trying on underwear. Some had bird poop on it, some were too small for my ass to rest comfortably on. Eventually I found a nice broad one and took a seat.

Kelly: You can't sway me I still have mad love for this book and series.

Odd: And more power to you. Do they wind up together? Does she punch him again?

Kelly: Let's just say that this is a slow burn romance. THINGS HAPPEN but it takes a while for them to both be in a place to enjoy it. I don't actually remember any additional punching but I wouldn't rule it out.

Split Decision

Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Books in this series
1. Darkhouse
2. Red Fox
2.5. The Benson
3. Dead Sky Morning [original review] - Paperback | Kindle
4. Lying Season
5. On Demon Wings
5.5. Old Blood
5.7. The Dex Files
6. Into the Hollow

Author Links
| Website | Twitter | Facebook | Amazon |

Serial Killers' Featured Review: Shatter the Bones by Stuart MacBride

Want to know more about the idea behind Serial Killers? This post is the place to start.

This month's book is Shatter the Bones the 7th book in the Logan McRae series by Stuart MacBride. Odd's the established reader and I'm new to the series...

Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Synopsis (Goodreads)

You will raise money for the safe return of Alison and Jenny McGregor. If you raise enough money within fourteen days they will be released. If not, Jenny will be killed.

Alison and Jenny McGregor—Aberdeen's own mother-daughter singing sensation—are through to the semi-finals of TV smash-hit Britain's Next Big Star. They're in all the gossip magazines, they've got millions of YouTube hits, and everyone loves them.

But their reality-TV dream has turned into a real-life nightmare. The ransom demand appears in all the papers, on the TV, and the internet, telling the nation to dig deep if they want to keep Alison and Jenny alive.

The media want action; the public displays of grief and anger are reaching fever-pitch. Time is running out, but DS Logan McRae and his colleagues have nothing to go on: the kidnappers haven't left a single piece of forensic evidence. The investigation is going nowhere.

It looks as if the price of fame just got a lot higher.

My Thoughts: I had a really rough time getting into this book. Really rough. As in, if I hadn't been reading this as one half of a joint review, I probably would have stopped at the 15% mark. But I soldiered on. Or something. My issues were twofold. Or maybe three. Let's see...

Part 1: I had a really hard time believing that a police force could be THAT incompetent. I mean... HOLY SMOKES! Between the genuinely stupid mistakes some of the police dudes made (err... I can't remember where all the DIs and DSs get applied, so I'm just going to call them "police dudes" and move along.) and the circles the dude from SOCA had them running in (literally retreading ground they'd already covered in some instances, on top of being very close-minded about the direction of the investigation), I came to the conclusion that having a crime committed against you in Aberdeen basically means you're screwed.

Part 2: Holy regional uses of words, Batman! Not being from Scotland, I had a tough time deciphering what was being said in many instances. Add this to the police jargon (which tends to make me have crazy eyes, anyway) and I was lost on more than one occasion. Yes, I could figure it out... eventually... but it took more time and patience than I was happy with.

Part 3: After all the build up with the kidnapping and the torture of Jenny and Alison, I was disappointed in how quickly the ending played out. I feel like the other crimes Logan was investigating gave us more closure than that one. I wanted more. I wanted the person who masterminded everything to suffer a little more. I wanted the people who tortured a little girl for shits and giggles to be brought down slowly, with much pain and public jeering. The only ones who ended up really suffering are the victims and the children of the victims. Frankly, that sucks.

This isn't a terrible book, despite what all my griping implies. The last half of the book moved along nicely -- I don't know if that was because I was getting into the flow of the speech patterns or what -- and there were some genuinely interesting characters. However, I don't recommend starting this series with book 7. Maybe... book 1. You know, just for kicks.

Odd's Thoughts: ...LOVED IT!

Despite my ongoing dislike of Samantha The Love Interest, on the grounds that she's not as awesome as Logan's previous girlfriend, this book hit the nail squarely on the head for me. It's every bit as good as the first one that got me utterly hooked on this series, Cold Granite. I read that one and then went on a book-buying rip, until my poor credit card sat shaking in a corner, whimpering at intervals.

The second and third books were almost as good, but spent more time on police force interpersonal DRAMA than the actual crimes, and got a little carried away with subplots. On the plus side, however, that gave the reader more time to spend with DI Steel, who is one of my favorite characters ever. And in answer to your question, Kel, yes, the police in Aberdeen are portrayed as being that incompetent throughout. There's this ongoing theme of Logan's competence being called into question through no fault of his own, and that's how he winds up working for DI Steel, who is kind of the lead fuck-up, who cheerfully starts her staff meetings by leading everyone in a rousing chorus of, "We are not at home to Mr. Fuck Up!"

Told you she was awesome.

Four, Flesh House, was stunning, in the same way a mallet between the eyes is stunning. The fifth and sixth books kind of went overboard on plot cray-cray, and left me kind of ...huh. But for me, even a so-so MacBride is still fantastic. Let's put it this way: I usually don't read books with animals and especially animal cruelty in them, but at least one dog dies every damn book and I'm still here.

I loved how dark Shatter the Bones was, and it really struck a perfect balance between plot and personal drama. One criticism of the series I've seen is how much abuse Logan takes in the line of duty, and whether it's overboard or whatnot. And there was one point in this book that seemed to address that criticism, where Logan channels his inner Mary, Queen of Scots:

Although look how well that ended for *her*.

And turns into a badass mofo. Which I loved.  So good. I cannot wait for the next book. I might have to cave in and buy it in hardcover...

Odd: Ma'am, this is ALL YOUR FAULT. Because now I have finally read this book I am going to have to wait like, actual MONTHS until the next one comes out.

Kelly: I'm sorry! I'M SORRY! However, I'd just like to point out that you would have had to wait months to read it in the first place if you had waited until the next book was ready to spring fully formed from Stuart MacBride's head.

Odd: Point. But I really wanted this book to go on for another 500 pages. Not just the cliffhanger ending, but the dark twist near the end which I felt like heralded the start of a different book. Anyway, time for the big question: did you enjoy it?

Kelly: Honestly, the book was okay. Just okay. I thought the twist in question was intriguing but, not KNOWING the characters as well as people who have been following them through the previous six books did, it didn't have quite the impact for me that I think the author was aiming for. As I mentioned in my review, I was also disappointed in the resolution to the kidnapping storyline. I like the bad guys to get it good. I'm bloodthirsty like that.

Odd: I understand your bloodthirsty urges but at the same time I thought that both Green (the SOCA man) and the public had been set up as villains who were just as terrible as the kidnappers and Green at the very least got his comeuppance. And it's something to think about that the public really didn't.

And in my defense, I do like my crime books darkity dark dark dark and morally ambiguous: Ian Rankin, Denise Mina, R.D. Wingfield, Lin Anderson, Ann Cleeve. And I like a good tortured protagonist. Honestly, watching horror movies the other day I realized I really like stories that end with the hero either dead, insane or both, and I think there's a fair chance McRae's series will end that way.

I am sad you joined the series in this book, however, if only because you don't really get the full majesty of DI Steel. And I am totally Team Roberta.

Kelly: Good point about Green and the public. Not going to lie, the public's actions were a bit disturbing. Not just the physical side of it, but also the way they glommed onto this entire situation and kept feeding the frenzy until it took on a life of its own. That was well done on MacBride's part, I must say.

DI Steel was... something. I'm not sure if I want to slug her or sit back at a safe distance and watch the fireworks she caused every time she walked into a room. No, I take that back. I wasn't sure about her in the beginning (and keep in mind that I knew NOTHING about her and she was rather abrasive the first time she popped on scene) but she had a couple of moments as the story progressed that made me genuinely like her character.

Odd: The two books before this one, Blind Eye and Dark Blood were much more Steel-y, and you get this great look into the dedicated and uncompromising trainwreck that is DI Roberta Steel.

But on the plus side, Shatter the Bones had much more of McRae and DC Rennie, who is basically a Labrador Retriever in a police uniform. Like this:

Steel waved a hand, indicated the milling throng packing the graveyard, the TV crews, the huge screens and speakers. "Celebration of a wee girl's life and all these famous buggers actually setting foot in Aberdeen for a change. They're here anyway, what else they going to do, go down to Codonas and play on the dodgems?"

"Ooh, ooh! Look, it's Robbie Williams!" The only thing Rennie didn't do was clap his hands as he jumped up and down. "ROBBIE!"

"Next time, I'm not going to thump you, I'm going to knee you in the balls." [said Logan]

Rennie's face fell. "Inspector...?"

"Don't be such a jobbie, Laz. Rennie, you scurry off and wet your wee star-struck panties if you like."

"Thanks, Guv!" Rennie pushed his way through the crowd, making for the progression of VIPs. "God, there's the bloke from Cash in the Attic!"

Logan watched him go. "Next time we're at the vet, I'm getting him fixed."

Although, is that quote more fun if you know what dodgems are?

Kelly: The quote is fun as it is but... I don't know what dodgems are. Is? Okay, now you have to tell because I don't want to be forever out of the loop!

Odd: Bumper cars :)

Kelly: Ha! Okay. That.. makes me laugh.

I'm curious, did this book live up the previous in the series for you?

Odd: So, Logan used to be dating a fellow PC named Jackie, who departed after book 3, Broken Skin. And let me tell you, this new chippie, Samantha? She is no Jackie. Right, so after that came Flesh House which was creepifying but all plot, less heart. Books 5 and 6 were basically less plot, all Grampian Police drama drama drama, including the departure of DI Insch and a brief sojourn to Poland that I didn't find as fun as anything in Aberdeen, but could be forgiven for how much DI Steel there was.

I mean, the books were good, but a little uneven.

This book, however? Knocked it out of the park for me. It was well-balanced and the plot drove the drama, much like back in books 1 and 2. The plot makes sense. It's tying up loose ends and shoving them all forward. I read it straight through in one day and thought it was kind of genius. But I appreciate what you're saying about coming in at this point in the series and having to do some serious translation.

But see my first comment about NEXT BOOK NOW NOW CANNOT WAIT MUST HAVE NOW NEXT BOOK OMG NONE PATIENCE LEFT MUST HAVE.

That's probably the best summary of my reaction to this book.

Kelly: Ha! I can totally appreciate that. I've had that reaction to many books in the past!

Split Decision

Books in this series
1. Cold Granite
2. Dying Light
3. Broken Skin
4. Flesh House
5. Blind Eye
6. Dark Blood
7. Shatter the Bones - Paperback | Kindle

Author Links
| Website | Twitter | Amazon |

Upcoming Serial Killers Victim: Dead Sky Morning (Experiment in Terror #3) by Karina Halle

Serial Killers' Featured Review: The Dead Town by Dean Koontz

Want to know more about the idea behind Serial Killers? This post is the place to start.

This month's book is The Dead Town the 5th book in the Frankenstein series by Dean Koontz. Odd's the established reader and I'm new(-ish) to the series...

Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Synopsis (Goodreads)

The war against humanity is raging. As the small town of Rainbow Falls, Montana, comes under siege, scattered survivors come together to weather the onslaught of the creatures set loose upon the world. As they ready for battle against overwhelming odds, they will learn the full scope of Victor Frankenstein’s nihilistic plan to remake the future—and the terrifying reach of his shadowy, powerful supporters.

Now the good will make their last, best stand. In a climax that will shatter every expectation, their destinies and the fate of humanity hang in the balance.

My Thoughts: I'm rather torn on this book. I liked the idea behind it so so so much but I had a tough time with the MASSIVE cast of characters that began unraveling the diabolical plot to destroy humanity and the world. There were a freaking lot of different plot threads going on here. A freaking lot.

If I look past all the secondary characters and focus on the Deucalion side of the story... OMG! LOVE! I really do adore the guy. He's big and scary looking, yet he's a good guy at the core. He *delights* in the wonders of the world around him. He's brilliant and ruthless when he needs to be. I think this is a sign that I should backtrack and read the first books in the series.

The downside of picking up the last book in a series is that I really have NO idea if the climactic end battle lives up to what came before. For all I know, the previous books make this one look like a dying fish flopping around on the banks of a river. Or, possibly, this one blew all the others out of the water. *I* was pleased with it and there was enough going on here to make me intensely curious to know the entire story. I'm usually okay with stepping into a series midstream but this is one that I really wouldn't have minded experiencing in all its glory.

Odd's Thoughts: Eh. Climactic end battle, shlimactic end battle. I really haven't been excited about this series since book 3, so it was hard to get through. The big cast of characters, I agree, was hella out of control and while I don't share your adoration for Deucalion, he's at least an interesting update to the Frankenstein's monster myth.

Books 4 and 5 have just felt like Koontz is going balls-out on the scary monster territory (not that books 1, 2 and 3 he was slacking on it) and more power to him, but a lot of the characters we got to know in the earlier books really got lost in the shuffle of MOAR PLOT...and set it on fire!!!

There's also the whole Frankenstein's New Reich problem (which I get into more below) and how it's a difficult subject to tackle without turning your reader off entirely. There really is such a thing as too much just being excess. I won't be going on with the series (if the series itself goes on).

Kelly: Whew! I did it. I finished the book. I had a tough time getting into it until about the 150 page mark so I'm pleased with myself.

Odd: Well done! It's a tough series overall, I think. What was it about p150 that suddenly worked for you?

Kelly: I think it was the HUGE cast of characters. I had a tough time keeping them straight at first. The way the action switches to a new set of characters/events pretty much every chapter kept me from really getting to *know* the characters. Once I had picked up the ebb and flow of Koontz's writing style, though, it was easier.

Odd: Had you read much Koontz before this?

Kelly: A few books. More than five, less than a dozen, I'd say. That said, it's been a while.

Odd: Do you think you'd read the rest of this series?

Kelly: I'm undecided. I've actually downgraded the original rating I gave this book on Goodreads because of the confusion caused by the huge cast of characters.  I did like Deucalion though, but knowing how things end... well, it kinda takes some of the shine off of that penny.

Odd: So, Deucalion's never resonated with me. I understand that he's supposed to be this moral Frankenstein's monster update, but for some reason I just am not thrilled. Now, I used to really enjoy Carson's character, but at the end of Book 2 (spoilerpants is easing down that zipper, baby, get ready for spoilers) Koontz marries her off to her partner, at which point she becomes someone else entirely. NOT THRILLED.

Between that and my feeling that Koontz isn't so much examining or undermining Nazi ideology as much as he is just appropriating it, I was outie-manoutie on these books.

Kelly: Ahhh. Since I skipped all the middle books (I'm using my working knowledge of books 1 and 5, here), I didn't really get to know Carson. In fact, I really do think that was the biggest downfall of this book. Characters came and went so quickly that just as you were getting a handle on them, they were dead or worse.

Odd: I actually didn't make it all the way through this book or the one before it. I'd noticed the ramping up of the use of "New Order" imagery in book 3, then in book 4 there's a whole bunch of "slaughter them like animals" and "shove them in trucks/trains/boxcars" language and imagery that was uncomfortable for me. I stuck with it in the hopes that Koontz would use those references to find something useful to say, something to add to a discussion along those lines -- basically something to justify the use of Nazi imagery and language. But it remained unexamined and just kind of...casual. Book 5, I only got about twenty pages in and just wasn't seeing change.

I am not here for that. We're not, as a society, at a place where imagery and references like that can stand unchallenged. I don't read fiction with Nazis as villains because I'm don't feel that we've really dealt with the non-fiction existence and power and impact of them, so to move the Nazi figure into fiction is disrespectful, as if making the facts of the Holocaust something to tell ghost stories about rather than a very real evil.

Which is basically my review. Book 1 was clever, in the introduction and reworking of the Frankenstein myth. Book 2 was gory but still clever. Book 3 was...kind of, where are we going with this? At which point I was only reading for the Jocko subplot and getting a very bad feeling about the New Order imagery.

Book 4 and 5? Naw. Nuh uh.

I'm open to hearing about a dissenting viewpoint. I'm cheerfully wrong on a consistent basis, and I think there's a path to rational examination of the type of ideology that allows this viewpoint to continue to flourish in the real world.

BUT, I'll need help getting to where I can understand how to productively use that imagery in entertainment and social commentary.

Kelly: Dude. Your mind scares me. I was all "MONSTERS! SCARY!" I think I missed a lot of nuances of what Koontz was doing here because I was so focused on trying to keep all the characters straight. Now I feel kinda douche-y for not seeing all that. THANKS A LOT, ODD!

(Please note: No friendships were harmed in the writing of this review. I promise!)

Split Decision

Books in this series
1. Prodigal Son
2. City of Night
3. Dead and Alive
4. Lost Souls
5. The Dead Town - Paperback | Kindle

Author Links
| Website | Facebook | Amazon |

Serial Killers' Featured Review: Timeless by Gail Carriger

Want to know more about the idea behind Serial Killers? This post is the place to start.

This month's book is Timeless the 5th book in the Parasol Protectorate series by Gail Carriger. I'm the established reader and Odd is new to the series...

Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Synopsis (Goodreads)

Alexia Tarabotti, Lady Maccon, has settled into domestic bliss. Of course, being Alexia, such bliss involves integrating werewolves into London High society, living in a vampire's second best closet, and coping with a precocious toddler who is prone to turning supernatural willy-nilly. Even Ivy Tunstell's acting troupe's latest play, disastrous to say the least, cannot put a damper on Alexia's enjoyment of her new London lifestyle.

Until, that is, she receives a summons from Alexandria that cannot be ignored. With husband, child, and Tunstells in tow, Alexia boards a steamer to cross the Mediterranean. But Egypt may hold more mysteries than even the indomitable Lady Maccon can handle. What does the vampire Queen of the Alexandria Hive really want from her? Why is the God-Breaker Plague suddenly expanding? And how has Ivy Tunstell suddenly become the most popular actress in all the British Empire?

Odd's Thoughts: So, I'm the new reader here, if only by a technicality. You see, I've read the first book in the series, Soulless, and I struggled a little with it, for two reasons. One, I had never read a Regency before. Hang on, that'll be important in a minute.

But two was that Lord Akeldama got right up my left nostril. I found him so over the top, so hard to conceive of as a character and be in any way believable that I stomped right off into the night. But, sometime later, I ran across a suggestion, I think in Carriger's own blog (which is frequently hilarious and always worth a stop) that Lord Akeldama is, in fact, alive and well in the 21st century and going by the name Austin Scarlett.

And y'all, I love Austin Scarlett. I am Team Austin, even with the John Waters mustache that appeared during All-Stars.

And once we got that cleared up, I was able to enjoy Timeless a whole heck of a lot more than Soulless. In fact I made it as far as page 66 (Asphodel as a tea sandwich) before I stopped reading.

Oh stop with the gasping and the carrying on. I stopped reading because I simply must go back and reread the rest of the series before reading this book.

There are a lot of things in just the first fifty pages of the book that depend on the reader's prior knowledge of the series; I'm sure there's a perfectly good reason Alexia et al are living in Austin Scarlett's third closet, and pretty much five pages in I was dying to know what that reason was. Luckily, there's a way to find that out.

As for Alexia...yeah, she's still full of herself. (I know! So many opinions and yet only fifty pages in. Call your Congressman to complain). However, I am starting to believe that being full of yourself is a hallmark of a Regency heroine.

A dear friend of mine who grew up reading Georgette Heyer novels and horse books nearly exclusively, bemoans the fact that I have not read one single Heyer. Far be it from me to be a disappointment; I started with The Convenient Marriage and The Masqueraders, where indeed Horatia and Letitia were both really full of themselves. As was Robin, but seeing how I really wanted Robin to end up being worn by Sir Anthony like a feedbag, my problems with that book were pretty unreconcilable. And yes, I did just make a conclusion about all Regency heroines on the strength of two Heyers and 1.2 Carrigers. Woo! Livin' on the edge!

I still don't think all spinsters need marrying, though.


My Thoughts: I'm a little sad to see this series put to rest. The only thing that's helping me bear this pain, at the moment, is the knowledge that there are two spinoff series in the works. One of the things I've consistently enjoyed is how complex this world is. I'm so very, very glad that we're going to get more stories set here, even if Alexia, Conall and their menagerie of supernatural friends aren't the main focus.

I've always loved Alexia's very pragmatic outlook on life. Being soulless, she's extremely literal and, as it turns out, motherhood hasn't changed her all that much. Conall is her polar opposite and you wouldn't think the two of them would work together as a couple but they are absolutely adorable. I do love a man who gives his wife's neck a good snuffle upon occasion.

Picking up roughly two years after the last book, Prudence is a precocious toddler and Lord and Lady Maccon have settled nicely into their odd living arrangement in Lord Akeldama's third closet. In inimitable Alexia fashion, they're soon heading off to Egypt - with Ivy and her acting troupe in tow - to meet with a very old vampire. Let's just say that Alexia's parasol gets a workout on this journey, Prudence is an adorable little beast, and Ivy's hats are still questionable.

There were times, especially in the beginning, where the language was a little much. For me, that tapered off once I got back into the swing of this world. Alexia and her friends aren't afraid to use a dozen words to say what Conall could sometimes say with one. In some ways, this ... verboseness adds to the charm of these books. However, falling back into the speech patterns did take a little doing.

Overall, this was a great ending to a series that I've loved. The setup for Prudence's book was masterfully done and with so many of these characters being immortal, I expect we'll see plenty of old favorites again.

Kelly: So. Let's talk steampunk. First off, is this a genre you enjoy dabbling in?

Odd:  It is! I like my steampunk a little darker than the Parasol Protectorate, I think, because they strike me as being these very clever Regency comedies with steampunk tacked on, whereas I'm more a fan of integrated steampunk, where it's driving the story. Like in Meljean Brook's The Iron Duke, or Dru Pagliotti's Clockwork Heart. Plus I'm still working on getting through Bath Tangle, so it's kind of an uphill battle for me with Regency in some ways. I have to ask, though, do you read Regency?

Kelly: I do. That's one of the genres I fall back on when I need a breather from my (nearly) undying love for all things paranormal. But just to clarify, I tend to like the Regency Historical Romances with a lot of steamy sex. Those quivering virgins and virile sons of Dukes are fascinating!

Odd: This is possibly where I am having issues with Regencies, as my comments about Robin, above illustrate.

Although I've just thought of that whatnot, um, Regency with the Kraken. Kilts and Krakens! Or is that Victorian, not Regency? I'm terrible with my historical time periods. But what I want to know is whether the other books in this series have more steampunk in them or whether you'd agree with the assessment that the Parasol Protectorate is Regency with steampunk tacked on.

Kelly: Well, it has the paranormal down pat (hello, werewolves and soulless and vampires!) but this book was light on the gadgets and gizmos. I think the other books in the series use steampunk props a lot more in the overall plot (GIANT METAL OCTOPUS, anyone?) but this one definitely toned it down in order to close out the series arc.

Odd: Hold up: are you asserting that steampunk requires paranormal elements? I think I'm missing something here.

(I am so excited about the GMO. The mention of that right at the beginning was the first time I debated stopping and going back to read the series in order because c'mon. GMO. 

What book wouldn't be improved by the addition of a GMO? Bridges of Madison County would've rocked ass. )

 

Kelly: No, steampunk doesn't *require* paranormal elements but it makes it so much more fun when it has them! C'mon! You must know by now that I'm a sucker for a #NakedWerewolf!

(If Bridges of Madison County had a Giant Metal Octopus in it, I would have been all over that like a drunk girl at a bar!)

 

Odd: Disagree for the block, Alex. I like more straight ahead steampunk where you can really focus on the internal logic of the world. Naked werewolves have their place, but I'm kind of a gadget-head retold history wonk. When in doubt, add a dirigible. That's my feeling. 

But, that said, you know...66 pages of Regency paranormal steampunk (parasolpunk? has that been coined yet) and I'm willing to commit to the whole series. That, for me, is impressive storytelling power.

Unequivocal Epic Win

Books in this series
1. Soulless
2. Changeless
3. Blameless
4. Heartless
5. Timeless - Paperback | Kindle

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